What are the seven fears?

There are seven common fears that most people experience in life. These fears can hold us back from reaching our full potential and living the lives we truly desire. By understanding what these seven fears are, we can start to overcome them and unlock our greatest selves. The seven fears are:

Fear of failure
Fear of rejection

Fear of the unknown
Fear of the dark
Fear of heights

Fear of public speaking
Fear of dying

Table of Contents

1. Fear of Failure

The fear of failure refers to being afraid of not succeeding or messing up in some way. This fear can prevent people from even trying new things or taking risks, in order to avoid potential failure. Some common thoughts associated with this fear include:

“What if I try and I can’t do it?”
“I don’t want to look stupid or incompetent.”
“If I fail, it means I’m not good enough.”

This fear often stems from perfectionism or linking your self-worth to achievement. Failing at something threatens this sense of self. However, failure is a normal and necessary part of growth and learning. Without failure, you cannot learn what works and what doesn’t. The key is to reframe failure as an opportunity for growth, rather than something to be avoided. Some ways to overcome the fear of failure include:

Practicing self-compassion and seeing failure as human
Taking small risks and trying new things so failure feels low-stakes

Reframing failure as helpful feedback
Celebrating small wins and progress

When you take away the high stakes attached to failure, it becomes much less scary. Failure teaches us how to adjust course and make improvements for next time. It is not a reflection of you or your abilities. By releasing the pressure to be perfect, you can start taking more chances and reaping the rewards.

2. Fear of Rejection

Many people have a strong fear of rejection or being excluded. This can apply to rejection from a group, romantic relationship, job opportunity, or experience where your inclusion is uncertain. Some thoughts associated with this fear include:

“What if they don’t pick me?”
“I’m worried they won’t like me.”

“I don’t want to be left out.”

Being rejected can certainly hurt. However, rejection is not a reflection of your worth or value as a person. We have all been rejected at some point in our lives. It is an inevitable part of living. The key is building resilience so that rejection does not devastate you or prevent you from putting yourself out there. Here are some tips for coping with the fear of rejection:

Remember that rejection says more about the other person than you

Increase your belonging in safe spaces so rejections sting less
Practice self-compassion and recognize your inherent worth
Learn from rejections but do not take them personally

Reframing rejection as an opportunity to improve and grow thicker skin can help reduce the fear. You cannot control whether you are rejected. But you can control how you respond. Rather than avoiding potential rejections altogether, face the fear head on so you can get used to the discomfort. With time and practice, rejections will bounce off you rather than crush you.

3. Fear of the Unknown

Human beings tend to fear the unknown. Uncertainty about what will happen in the future can provoke anxiety. Some common thoughts underlying this fear include:

“What’s going to happen?”

“I need to be able to predict things.”
“The unknown is dangerous.”

Not knowing what the future may bring can certainly be unsettling. However, the unknown also contains possibilities. If you knew exactly what was going to happen all the time, life would be boring and lack spontaneity. Here are some ways to better cope with uncertainty and the fear of the unknown:

Get comfortable with uncertainty by slowly facing small unknowns
Look at the unknown with curiosity rather than assuming the worst
Develop self-trust in your ability to handle whatever happens

Focus on what you can control in the present moment

Rather than dreading uncertainty, view it as an opportunity for growth. The unknown gives you a chance to develop new skills and evolve as a person. Even if the unknown feels scary, have faith that you will find a way through it that builds your strength and resilience. Embrace not knowing!

4. Fear of the Dark

Many children and even adults experience fear around the dark. When it is difficult to see your surroundings, it can trigger worries about what may be hiding unseen. Some common thoughts around this fear include:

“I can’t see what’s out there.”
“There could be something scary waiting to get me.”
“I’m helpless in the dark.”

Fear of the dark often stems from an overactive imagination about potential threats. Darkness limits our vision and makes us feel vulnerable to the unknown. However, there are some ways to gain control over this common fear:

Use a nightlight or flashlight if needed
Remind yourself what is real versus imagined

Start small by sitting in the dark for short periods
Practice calming self-talk when afraid

Exposing yourself gradually to darkness can help overcome anxiety. Start in an enclosed room and work your way up to walking outside at night. Teach yourself that there is nothing to be afraid of. Also, examine any irrational thoughts contributing to the fear. The darkness itself cannot actually hurt you. Turning on lights instantly proves that nothing is lurking. With time, the fear diminishes and darkness goes back to being just a normal part of life.

5. Fear of Heights

The fear of heights, also known as acrophobia, refers to feeling fearful or avoiding high places. Some examples include skyscrapers, balconies, chairlifts, and airplanes. This fear stems from worries about falling from a dangerous height and getting injured or killed. Common thoughts surrounding this phobia include:

“I’m going to fall.”
“I’m going to get vertigo and feel faint.”

“The higher I go, the harder I could fall.”

While a healthy respect for heights can help avoid accidents, an extreme fear can severely limit your activities. Some ways to gain control over this common phobia include:

Gradual exposure therapy starting small and working upwards

Changing negative thought patterns when at heights
Learning relaxation and visualization techniques
Practicing on staircases, balconies, and step stools

By slowly and repeatedly facing heights in a controlled way, you can desensitize yourself and build more confidence. Over time, the fear response diminishes. However, always take proper safety precautions when at dangerous heights. With practice, you can conquer acrophobia and enjoy activities like flying, hiking, and trying out high ropes courses.

6. Fear of Public Speaking

Many people list public speaking as one of their biggest fears. Standing up and speaking in front of a crowd can certainly feel intimidating. Worrying thoughts around public speaking may include:

“Everyone is going to be staring at me.”

“I’m going to mess up and look foolish.”
“My mind is going to go blank.”

However, with preparation and practice, public speaking does not have to be so scary. Here are some proven ways to gain more confidence as a speaker:

Practice extensively to build fluency
Focus on your material rather than the audience
Visualize yourself speaking successfully

Build experience through Toastmasters or courses

The more you put yourself out there as a speaker, the more comfortable it becomes. Everyone was a beginner speaker once. Over time, you can learn to use nerves productively and channel your energy into an engaging performance. Reframing thoughts to be encouraging rather than self-critical also helps. With practice, public speaking can even become an enjoyable experience.

7. Fear of Dying

For many people, thinking about death stirs up significant fear and anxiety. Fear of dying comes from worrying about loss of self, pain and suffering, and the unknown aspects of death. Some common thoughts include:

“I don’t want life to end.”
“What if it’s painful and horrifying?”
“Death means losing everything and everyone.”

It’s normal to have some trepidation about death. However, being paralyzed by fear can prevent us from fully living. Some ways to develop a healthier relationship with mortality include:

Accepting death as a natural part of life
Talking more openly about end-of-life preferences

Focusing on living well and meaningfully each day
Exploring spiritual beliefs around death

While we cannot control when or how we will die, we can shape our lives up until that point. Reflecting on mortality can actually help prioritize what matters most to you. Appreciate the gift of life without needing certainty about every detail of death. Live fully without denying or running from the reality of loss. With time, you can develop equanimity around your mortality.

Overcoming Your Greatest Fears

Facing our deepest fears is challenging but so worthwhile. Pushing past fear expands our lives and unlocks courage, confidence, and self-actualization. Here are some final tips for overcoming any fear holding you back:

Start small and build your skills through gradual exposure
Change negative thinking patterns to be more encouraging

Visualize yourself handling feared situations with mastery
Reward yourself for small acts of courage
Lean on supportive loved ones to help face fears

Seek professional help for phobias severely limiting your life

With consistent practice, fears lose their control over us. We can live with more freedom, meaning, and joy. All the growth happens outside your comfort zone. So get excited about the possibilities that open up when you engage with fear, rather than run from it. You are stronger than you know!

Conclusion

The seven common human fears are failure, rejection, the unknown, darkness, heights, public speaking, and death. While these fears can hold us back, they also present opportunities to grow. By reframing fear as a teacher rather than an enemy, you can develop the skills and strength needed to live courageously. With small steps of exposure and shifts in mindset, fears lose their paralyzing grip. You get to decide whether your fears shrink your life or expand it. Be compassionate but keep challenging yourself. With time, even daunting fears start to seem conquerable. Practice facing fears and unlocking your greatest potential today!