How do you trust someone who lied and cheated?

Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. When that trust is broken through lies or infidelity, it can feel like your entire world is crumbling down. The person you thought you knew turns out to be someone else entirely. So how do you move forward? How do you learn to trust that person again after such deep betrayal?

How do you get over being lied to by your partner?

Discovering that your partner has lied to you can be utterly devastating. The truth often comes out slowly, one lie at a time, until you’re left wondering what was real and what was fabricated. Here are some tips for coping when you’ve been lied to:

  • Allow yourself to feel the full pain and anger of this betrayal. Don’t bottle up emotions or try to downplay the situation.
  • Have an open and honest conversation with your partner about why they lied. Understanding the reasons can help you process it.
  • Rebuild trust slowly over time. Small acts of honesty by your partner will gradually restore faith.
  • Consider relationship counseling to work through issues with an impartial third party.
  • Focus on self-care through exercise, hobbies, friends, and family to help you heal.
  • Be aware of triggers and flare ups of emotions. Anniversaries often spark memories.
  • Make the conscious decision every day to trust your partner again. It takes effort and commitment.

The process of restoring trust after lies can feel frustrating and stagnant at times. But consistent transparency from a remorseful partner will demonstrate change. With time and dedication, faith can be renewed one day at a time.

How do you forgive a cheating spouse?

Few betrayals cut deeper than infidelity within a marriage. The broken vows and loss of intimacy can shake you to your core. Is it possible to get past the pain? Can you ever forgive a cheating husband or wife? These tips may help:

  • Get the full truth through open communication. Trickle truth prolongs the hurt. Full disclosure is necessary.
  • Share your deepest emotions. Don’t hold back hurt, anger, fear, or sadness. Bottling it up doesn’t help recovery.
  • Commit to either salvaging or ending the marriage. Limbo causes toxicity for both spouses.
  • Seek counseling, both individually and as a couple. An objective facilitator aids the healing.
  • Rebuild your physical intimacy slowly. Don’t force it while emotions are still raw.
  • Renew your commitment to the relationship every single day. It takes active participation from both parties.
  • Focus on today, not yesterday. Dwelling on the affair prolongs pain. Look forward.
  • Offer forgiveness when ready, not on demand. It’s a process that requires time and sincerity.

A marriage can survive infidelity, but both spouses must commit to openness, patience, and healing. With enough time, care, and counseling, forgiveness is possible.

How do you start trusting someone again?

If a friend, family member, or partner has broken your trust through their words or actions, it’s natural to put up walls. Here are some ideas for letting those walls down cautiously and starting to trust that person again:

  • Tell them openly what they did to lose your faith. Honest communication is key.
  • Ask them to earn back your trust gradually with small acts of consideration.
  • Temper your expectations going forward. Perfect behavior is unrealistic.
  • Keep communication open even when it’s difficult. Avoid shutting them out.
  • Focus on the present when you interact. Don’t obsess over the past.
  • Give second chances for minor mistakes. We all mess up sometimes.
  • Consider counseling or therapy to facilitate reconciliation.
  • Look for true remorse and change in their behavior as signs of sincerity.
  • Start small by opening up about minor topics you feel less vulnerable about.
  • Allow yourself to become vulnerable again at your own pace. It’s not an overnight process.

Repairing broken trust requires mutual effort, transparency, and patience. If both people are committed to the relationship and making it right, faith can gradually be renewed one small step at a time.

How long does it take to rebuild lost trust?

When someone has betrayed your trust, how long does it take to feel okay about them again? Unfortunately there is no set timeline. Lost trust can take months or even years to fully rebuild. It depends on many factors:

  • The severity and duration of the lies, cheating, or betrayal.
  • How much the betrayer tries to make amends and earn back trust.
  • Counseling and therapy to work through issues.
  • A sincere commitment to honesty and change from the betrayer.
  • The emotional maturity, history, and communication skills of both people.
  • Individual personality traits like tendency to forgive or hold grudges.
  • The overall importance of the relationship.
  • Willingness to make yourself vulnerable again.
  • Consistency in rebuilding trust over time.

There will be ups and downs, steps forward and backslides along the trust rebuilding journey. But with sustained effort from both people, lost faith can gradually be restored.

Should you stay with someone who betrayed you?

Deciding whether to give someone another chance after they’ve lied, cheated, or otherwise betrayed you is an extremely personal choice. There are several factors to consider when making this decision:

  • Are they genuinely sorry? True remorse, not just apology, is key.
  • Will they behave differently moving forward? Look for meaningful change.
  • Was this behavior part of a pattern? Isolated incident or repeat offenses?
  • What was the severity and duration of the betrayal? Small lie vs long affairs.
  • How much do you value the relationship? Is it worth trying to salvage?
  • Can counseling help resolve any underlying issues? Having a neutral third party often helps.
  • Do you have emotional support outside the relationship? Friends/family help you stay grounded.
  • Are you willing and able to do the work to rebuild trust slowly over time? It takes tremendous effort and vulnerability.

Staying with a betrayer means offering them an incredible gift of forgiveness and another chance. It is not an easy path but can be worth it if both people are truly invested in repairing the relationship.

How do you trust someone who continues to lie?

When faced with repeated and ongoing lies from someone, it’s natural to have your trust eroded. Here are some ways to cope when you’re struggling to trust someone with a history of dishonesty:

  • Consider whether this relationship is healthy or worth salvaging at this point.
  • Make it clear that the lying is unacceptable and damaging to your bond.
  • Temper your expectations going forward when they assure you of something.
  • Pay attention to any subtle cues that could indicate more deception.
  • Catch them in small lies to call out the behavior when you notice it.
  • Verify stories or information from outside sources when possible.
  • Have an escape plan if the lying becomes intolerable. Know your limits.
  • Accept that you cannot control their behavior – only yourself.
  • Build your confidence and self-worth outside of this relationship.
  • Consider seeking counseling or support groups to better understand pathological liars.

You alone cannot singlehandedly restore trust with an unrepentant liar. They must recognize the damage being done and take steps to reform their behavior. Without that commitment on their part, trust will continue to erode.

How do you regain broken trust in a marriage?

Rebuilding broken trust in a marriage after infidelity, lies, or other breaches can feel overwhelming but is possible if both spouses commit to transparency, honesty, and therapy. Here are some tips:

  • The betrayer must fully confess details and assume responsibility.
  • The betrayed can express the full pain and anger of their hurt.
  • Establish new boundaries and expectations around trust.
  • Commit to regular check-ins and building intimacy through communication.
  • Seek individual counseling in addition to couples therapy.
  • Work together to understand root causes and dysfunctional patterns.
  • Let go of the need to punish or seek vengeance.
  • Rebuild your friendship and enjoyment of each other’s company.
  • Demonstrate honesty in all interactions going forward.
  • Focus on positive progress however small rather than perfection.

While not linear, reconciliation after broken trust is possible with consistent hard work on both sides to listen, empathize, communicate, forgive, and commit anew.

Can a relationship go back to normal after cheating?

It’s unlikely that a relationship can go completely back to normal after one partner has cheated. The innocence and total trust are lost, and both parties are changed. However, relationships can survive infidelity and heal into something new if both partners commit to the hard work of rebuilding.

  • Accept that normal is forever changed, but don’t lose hope.
  • Work through underlying hurts and issues that may have led to cheating.
  • Establish new boundaries and expectations around trust and fidelity.
  • Share vulnerabilities and reconnect intimately and emotionally as well as physically.
  • Let go of obsessing over the affair, but acknowledge when triggered.
  • Consider what needs aren’t being met in the relationship and how to nurture each other.
  • Make new vows and commitments to fidelity and honesty.
  • Therapy, individually and as a couple, can facilitate healing.
  • Focus on each day together rather than the past.

While the past can’t be undone, the future is unwritten. With devotion to growth and healing, a new stronger relationship can emerge.

Can you fall back in love with someone who cheated?

Your love for your partner can be severely damaged by the heartbreak of infidelity. However, it is possible to fall back in love if both people invest fully in repairing the relationship by:

  • Getting counseling to understand why the cheating occurred.
  • Allowing yourself to process the grief and anger.
  • Committing to honest communication and transparency moving forward.
  • Rebuilding intimacy and friendship through quality time together.
  • Rediscovering the unique qualities that made you fall in love originally.
  • Letting go of resentment about the affair.
  • Choosing to see your partner’s remorse and efforts to do better.
  • Verbalizing feelings of love and appreciation for each other.
  • Finding purpose and joy in shared goals and experiences.
  • Having faith that love can be renewed over time.

While the flame of love may dim, it is possible to rekindle that spark again – closer and stronger than before. Focus on the reasons you fell in love to begin with.


Rebuilding trust after a major betrayal may seem impossible, but many relationships survive lies, cheating, and dishonesty. Open communication, individual and couples counseling, cutting ties with affair partners, demonstrating changed behavior over time, and a joint commitment to honesty and transparency can help repair the damage. While lost innocence cannot be reclaimed, forgiveness and healing can lead to a new depth of intimacy. With enough time, empathy, repentance and forgiveness, trust can be gradually restored, one day at a time.

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