Many people wonder if they sleep better when sharing a bed with a partner versus sleeping alone. This is an interesting question that may depend on your individual preferences and sleep habits. Some key points to consider:
Quick Answers
– For some people, having a partner in the bed leads to more restful sleep. The comfort of having someone close can help reduce anxiety and make it easier to fall and stay asleep.
– For others, sharing a bed disturbs sleep. Motion, snoring, and different sleep schedules can make it harder to get quality sleep with a partner.
– Research on the subject is mixed. Some studies find couples sleep better together, others find no difference or worse sleep.
– Overall quality of the relationship, how much you touch at night, and your own preferences likely impact whether co-sleeping helps or hurts.
– It often takes time to adjust to sharing sleep space with someone else. Compromise and communication can help optimize sleep for co-sleeping couples.
How the Presence of a Partner Can Improve Sleep
Sleeping next to someone can lead to better sleep for several reasons:
Feeling of Safety and Security
Having someone close by in bed can provide a sense of security, making it easier to fall and stay asleep. This is true even into adulthood, though more research focuses on co-sleeping benefits for children. The presence of a trusted partner dampens the “fight or flight” response, lowering stress hormones like cortisol. This enhances relaxation and helps many people sleep more soundly.
Regulation of Breathing and Heart Rate
Sleeping together may sync biological rhythms between partners. When you share a bed, your breathing and heart rate begin to match up with each other. This synchronization can enhance sleep, similar to the calming effects of breathing exercises. Touch also releases oxytocin, a hormone that promotes bonding and relaxation.
Reduced Anxiety and Depression
Warm contact with a partner at night is associated with lower anxiety and less depressive symptoms for many individuals. The comfort of having someone close can minimize lonely or anxious thoughts when trying to fall asleep. This emotional benefit is especially true for couples who have positive relationships.
Synchronized Sleep Cycles
Over time, partners’ sleep cycles may sync up, which can make it easier to fall asleep together and wake up together. However, mismatched preferences can also have the opposite effect. Light or restless sleepers often get woken up when a partner tosses and turns. Managing differences in sleep styles takes compromise but can lead to more synchronized rest.
Feeling of Intimacy and Closeness
Sharing a bed furthers feelings of intimacy and closeness between partners. This bonding time together at night can have positive effects on the relationship that carry over into daytime interactions as well. Particularly for couples who don’t get much time together due to busy schedules, co-sleeping can improve closeness.
| Reasons a Partner May Improve Sleep |
|---|
| Sense of safety and security |
| Regulation of breathing and heart rate |
| Reduced anxiety and depression |
| Synchronized sleep cycles |
| Feeling of intimacy and closeness |
How the Presence of a Partner Can Disturb Sleep
While co-sleeping has its benefits, the presence of a partner can also frequently impair sleep. Here are some key ways having someone else in bed can disrupt rest:
Movement and Sleep Disturbances
Partners often have different sleep styles that may not be compatible in the same bed. For example, one person moving a lot at night, getting up to use the bathroom, having a different temperature preference, or snoring can impair the other’s sleep. Light sleepers often wake up due to the other’s motions.
Different Bedtimes and Wake Up Times
Couples frequently have different natural circadian rhythms for sleep. One person may be a “night owl” while the other wakes up very early. Differing bedtimes and wake up times can make it challenging to sleep harmoniously together. Compromise is required so neither partner feels shortchanged on sleep.
Feeling Crowded and Lack of Space
Some people struggle to sleep well when sharing their personal space. Single sleepers may value stretching out and sleeping diagonally across the bed. Co-sleeping can feel too cramped and crowded for some. Larger mattresses and bedding can help address this issue.
Increase in Sleep Disturbing Conflicts
Relationship issues that may have gone unnoticed before bed are often exacerbated at night when trying to sleep beside someone. Bedtime fights and rehashing arguments can certainly keep partners awake. Letting go of conscious concerns is important for rest.
Poor Sleep Habits of a Partner
A partner’s sleep habits like snoring or insomnia problems can become your problem too when sharing the bed. Electronic device use in bed and an inconsistent sleep schedule can also pass negative habits on to co-sleepers. Diplomatic feedback is helpful for improving bedtime habits together.
| Reasons a Partner May Disturb Sleep |
|---|
| Movement and sleep disturbances |
| Different bedtimes and wake up times |
| Feeling crowded and lack of space |
| Increase in sleep disturbing conflicts |
| Poor sleep habits of partner |
Research Findings on Co-Sleeping
Research evidence on whether couples sleep better together is mixed overall:
Studies Finding Co-Sleeping Improves Rest
Some studies have observed couples getting more sleep when together:
– A 2017 study tracked sleep electronically for couples sleeping together versus apart. Participants fell asleep faster, slept more, and felt more rested after co-sleeping.
– A small 2013 study found women slept better when their male partners were in bed beside them. However, men slept the same either way.
– Research has found married couples get more sleep on average than unmarried individuals. Those unhappily married, however, slept worse than happily married couples.
– An analysis of over 1 million adults found those sleeping with a partner reported less insufficient sleep on the whole.
Studies Finding Co-Sleeping Reduces Sleep Quality
Other studies observe co-sleeping impairing sleep:
– A 2021 systematic review found moderately strong evidence that co-sleeping decreases sleep efficiency, sleep duration, and quality.
– One study found that sleeping beside a partner increased the time it took to fall asleep by 5 minutes on average.
– Research has found women are more likely to be disturbed by men’s restless sleeping and snoring at night.
– Multiple studies show a person sleeping next to a snorer loses an average of 1 hour of sleep per night.
– Couples with mismatched work schedules who share a bed often lose 1-4 hours of sleep per week.
Neutral Studies on Co-Sleeping and Sleep Quality
Some analyses have found no particular benefit or impairment from co-sleeping:
– A 2019 study tracked individuals transitioning between sleeping alone and with partners. No significant differences were found in sleep quality or duration between conditions.
– Clinical research using polysomnography monitoring found sleep metrics like efficiency, time asleep, and wakings were no different for couples sharing a bed versus sleeping separately.
– Total sleep time, sleep efficiency, and time to fall asleep did not differ between solo and co-sleepers in a 2011 study’s sleep lab testing.
More research is still needed to understand all the intricacies of how co-sleeping impacts rest. Monitoring technology advances make it easier than ever to quantitatively track sleep habits and patterns in couples.
| Research Findings on Co-Sleeping and Sleep Quality |
|---|
| Studies finding co-sleeping improves rest |
| Studies finding co-sleeping reduces sleep quality |
| Neutral studies on co-sleeping and sleep quality |
Tips for Restful Sleep While Co-sleeping
If you choose to share sleeping accommodations with your significant other, here are some tips to get the benefits without the drawbacks of co-sleeping:
Communicate About Needs and Preferences
Discuss your respective bedtime habits and quirks openly with your partner. Determine mutually agreeable solutions to issues that arise. Don’t let unspoken annoyances build up.
Optimize the Sleep Environment
Make sure your bedroom has ideal temperature, noise level, and darkness for sleeping. Use blackout curtains, a fan or white noise machine, and a quality mattress. Keep electronics out of the room.
Try Separate Blankets
Use your own blankets and sheets to avoid fighting over bedding. It also reduces sleep disruptions from your partner’s motions.
Use White Noise or Earplugs
Drown out noise from snoring, different bedtimes, or early risers. White noise machines or silicone earplugs can prevent waking you up.
Address Health Issues
Consult a doctor if your partner’s snoring, restless legs, or other condition is severely disrupting your rest. Medical treatment or sleep aids may help manage issues.
Schedule Intimate Time and Cuddle Hours
Set aside relaxing cozy time together before bed and intimacy at appropriate times to satisfy emotional and physical needs. This can prevent bedtime issues brewing.
Allow Separate Sleep Space If Needed
If co-sleeping isn’t working, taking turns sleeping separately may improve sleep for both people. Just be sure to communicate it’s not for lack of affection.
Compromise on Scheduling Differences
Be willing to shift your natural sleep schedule closer to your partner’s to sync up. Meet in the middle instead of bedtimes vastly differing.
Wait to Go to Bed Together
If one partner gets sleepy much earlier than the other, the night owl can read, listen to music, or do a quiet activity until the other is ready to sleep.
| Tips for Restful Co-Sleeping |
|---|
| Communicate about needs and preferences |
| Optimize the sleep environment |
| Try separate blankets |
| Use white noise or earplugs |
| Address health issues |
| Schedule intimate time and cuddle hours |
| Allow separate sleep space if needed |
| Compromise on scheduling differences |
| Wait to go to bed together |
Conclusion
Research indicates co-sleeping with a romantic partner has potential benefits but also many risks for sleep disruption. Overall, quality rest while sharing a bed depends on your individual preferences and relationship dynamics. Compromise and communication are key for couples to optimize sleep. Trying out different arrangements to find what works best for both people is recommended. With some adjustments, most partners can find a sleep pattern that allows them to enjoy the perks of sleeping close while still getting sufficient shut-eye.
