Making new friends and expanding one’s social network is an important part of life for many people. Some individuals seem to make friends wherever they go and build up an expansive social circle with ease. So what exactly makes some people better at making new friends than others? Research has uncovered various personality traits and attributes that are commonly found in those who make friends easily.
They Are Outgoing and Approachable
One of the most important factors that allows someone to make friends easily is being outgoing, friendly, and approachable. People who initiate conversations, introduce themselves to strangers, and convey open body language send the message that they are open to connecting. Those who appear engaged, attentive, and happy to meet new people come off as approachable. Their outgoing nature makes it easy and enjoyable for others to chat with them. In contrast, those who are very shy, aloof, standoffish, or disengaged signal disinterest in engaging with others, making it unlikely for new friendships to form.
They Are Genuinely Interested In Others
People who have an innate curiosity and enjoyment of learning about others tend to make friends easily. When meeting someone new, they ask questions to find out more about the person’s interests, background, opinions, and experiences. Their genuine interest makes the other person feel valued. And by discovering shared interests and experiences, this helps spark an initial connection and rapport between two people. Those who dominantly talk about themselves without showing interest in learning about the other person will have a harder time progressing acquaintances into friendships.
They Are Comfortable Taking Social Risks
Putting yourself out there socially can feel risky, as initiating conversations with strangers or proposing plans to hang out can lead to rejection. Those who are willing to take these risks frequently reap the rewards of making new connections. They don’t let fear of rejection or looking awkward prevent them from introducing themselves to people or inviting potential friends to share contact information or spend time together. Taking the initiative helps enable friendships to blossom, whereas those paralyzed by shyness or fear of rejection miss out on potential relationships.
They Share About Themselves and Are Vulnerable
Making yourself vulnerable and sharing personal details helps strengthen budding friendships. Those who make friends easily tend to open up about their own experiences, interests, quirks, opinions, and desires. Self-disclosure signals trust in the other person and reciprocally encourages them to also share about themselves. This mutual sharing fosters intimacy that accellerates friendships forming. In contrast, those who remain overly private about themselves can come across as aloof or disinterested in connecting on a deeper level.
They Have Strong Social Skills
Having good social skills also enables some to more easily make new friendships. These include the ability to initiate and maintain conversations, picking up on social cues, using humor and storytelling, expressing empathy, mirroring others’ body language, and making self-disclosures. Social skills allow people to come across as charismatic, interesting, and confident. The combination of being outgoing and possessing strong social abilities gives a major advantage to those looking to quickly form new relationships.
They Join New Social Groups and Activities
Signing up for group activities focused around shared interests or hobbies is a great way to meet potential new friends who have similar passions. Joining a book club, recreational sports league, volunteer organization, professional association, cooking class or other activity with like-minded people facilitates friendships forming naturally. Those who repeatedly put themselves in social environments maximixe their opportunities to connect with those who could become fast friends given their common interests.
They Maintain Friendships and Follow Through
Once initial connections have been made, progressing from acquaintances to close friends requires ongoing nurturing of the new relationship. People adept at making friends don’t let promising friendships fade away due to lack of follow through. They continue expressing interest in spending time together and learning about the person. They follow through on plans made and reciprocate invitations issued. They keep in touch via texting, social media or other communication channels. They continue deepening the friendship bond through trust, self-disclosure and shared experiences. Investing time into developing promising friendships helps accelerate the transition from strangers to close companions.
They Have Positive Personality Traits
Certain personality traits naturally attract people and promote the formation of new relationships. Those who are optimistic, enthusiastic, generous, kind, dependable, funny and sincere tend to make friends easily. People enjoy being around others who make them feel good. Positive personality traits signal to people that establishing a friendship with this person will be enjoyable, worthwhile and lead to good experiences. This draws people towards initiating friendships with those displaying these traits.
They Focus On Mutual Interests and Experiences
When looking to turn acquaintances into close friendships, focusing conversations and activities around mutual interests, passions and life experiences helps strengthen the budding bond. This allows both people to engage in meaningful discussions, discover similarities, experience activities they enjoy together and reveal vulnerabilities related to opinions on topics important to them. The combination of revelating shared interests and life experiences brings those involved closer together emotionally and interpersonally.
They Listen Well and Ask Good Questions
Strong listening and questioning skills also characterize those adept at forming relationships. They allow others to do most of the talking about themselves early on by asking thoughtful questions conveyed true interest. This helps the other person feel validated and understood. In later conversations, they balance listening with reciprocal self-disclosure. The ability to listen well and ask questions that stimulate interesting conversations gives people confidence they will enjoy interacting with this new acquaintance.
They Accept People For Who They Are
Rather than criticizing or trying to change people, those good at making friends tend to accept others for who they are. They look past superficial characteristics to find the inner qualities they appreciate in a potential friend. This allows them to establish diverse friend groups with people from varied backgrounds, personalities, interests, opinions and values. Their openness helps others feel comfortable opening up and being themselves around these new friends without fear of judgment.
They Leave A Unique Impression On People
While some new acquaintances are easily forgotten, those adept at friendships often leave a unique, memorable impression on people they meet. They establish a unique rapport from the initial conversation that sticks in the other person’s mind. They display wit, candor, insightful perspectives or humor that makes them interesting. They reference shared experiences, interests or people to indicate common ground. They convey confidence in showing interest while also displaying humility. Their refreshing authenticity makes people feel a connection and eager to see them again.
They Maintain a Diverse Social Network
Successful friend-makers leverage their existing social networks to help meet new people. They get introduced to friends-of-friends to expand their circle. They utilize connections from different facets of their life – childhood friends, college buddies, coworkers, teammates, neighbors etc. A diverse social web enables meeting new people through multiple avenues, maximizing opportunities to find those who could become fast friends given sufficient common ground.
They Put Effort Into Their Friendships
Some mistakenly think that the ability to make friends easily means exerting minimal effort. In reality, friend-makers invest heavily into developing promising new relationships. They prioritize getting together regularly early on to establish a solid foundation. They remember important details and follow up on them later. They offer support during difficult times and share in happy occasions. They don’t let longer periods without contact undermine reconnecting. Their ongoing attention helps convert casual acquaintances into lifelong confidants.
They Have High Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence allows friend-makers to establish rapport with diverse personalities, avoid conflicts and help others feel comfortable opening up. Their ability to read nonverbal cues helps them respond appropriately in conversations and social settings. They are adept at making empathetic statements that demonstrate understanding of others’ perspectives. Their ability to regulate their own emotions prevents instances of social awkwardness or interpersonal tensions. Overall, their high EQ equips them with the optimal social sensibilities for making new connections.
Conclusion
While some people are innately gifted at making new friends, the evidence shows that social skills, personality traits and personal habits also play a major role. Individuals hoping to improve their ability to make friends can work on adopting these attributes and approaches themselves. With practice and dedication, those who struggle with making friends can also become more socially successful by leveraging the strategies used by the most gifted friend-makers.
