When a person dies, their body is often cremated. This involves burning the body at very high temperatures until only bone fragments (ashes) remain. The ashes are then given to the deceased person’s loved ones to handle as they wish. Spreading or scattering someone’s ashes is the act of taking those ashes and dispersing them in a meaningful place or way. There are a few common terms used for this practice:
Scattering Ashes
The most general term is simply “scattering ashes.” This refers to the act of spreading out or dispersing the ashes in an area. The ashes may be loosely sprinkled over the ground or released into the air. “We will be scattering Grandma’s ashes at her favorite park this weekend.”
Spreading Ashes
“Spreading ashes” is another common phrase used interchangeably with scattering ashes. “The family will spread his ashes at sea per his wishes.”
Strewing Ashes
“Strewing ashes” is a more formal or literary term. It means releasing ashes over a large area. “After the memorial service, we spent the afternoon strewing his ashes across the countryside.”
Dispersing Ashes
“Dispersing ashes” is very similar to scattering or spreading ashes. It implies letting the ashes be released freely. “We will be dispersing Mom’s ashes along her favorite hiking trail this weekend.”
Sprinkling Ashes
“Sprinkling ashes” suggests gently raining the ashes down over an area. It’s a bit more controlled than fully scattering them. “The family took turns sprinkling Grandpa’s ashes over the grapevines he tended for years.”
Interning Ashes
“Interning ashes” means placing them in a columbarium niche or burial plot. So it’s not exactly spreading them, but laying the ashes to rest in one place. “We decided to intern Aunt Sue’s ashes at the cemetery where her parents are buried.”
Committing Ashes
“Committing ashes” is a respectful term meaning to lay ashes to rest through scattering, interning, or another ceremony. “Today we commit Jack’s ashes to the sea, just as he wished.”
Casting Ashes
“Casting ashes” implies a dramatic or sweeping gesture of spreading the ashes over a space. “The memorial attendees took turns casting handfuls of his ashes off the mountaintop overlook.”
Tossing Ashes
“Tossing ashes” is a casual way of describing scattering some in the air. “We spent the afternoon tossing Mom’s ashes along her favorite beach.”
Releasing Ashes
“Releasing ashes” conveys letting ashes go freely at a location. “The family is releasing his ashes in the botanical gardens today.”
Discharging Ashes
“Discharging ashes” is a formal term for spreading or releasing ashes at a site. “We will be discharging your father’s ashes at sea per his final wishes.”
Laying Ashes to Rest
“Laying ashes to rest” indicates finally allowing the deceased’s ashes to settle at a meaningful place. This could be through scattering or interring them. “Today we are laying your beloved grandmother’s ashes to rest here beside the family cabin.”
When to Scatter Ashes
There is no set timeframe for when to scatter a person’s ashes. It’s a very personal decision based on several factors:
- Some families scatter ashes shortly after receiving them, as part of the funeral or memorial service.
- Others wait weeks or months until they feel emotionally ready.
- Some coordinate scattering ashes on meaningful dates like birthdays or anniversaries.
- Scattering ashes may be delayed until family and friends can travel to the desired location.
- Ashes can even be split up so some are scattered immediately and some saved for scattering later.
It comes down to when it will be most comforting and fitting for loved ones. There is no “right” timeline. Listen to your heart and scatter the ashes when you feel the time is right.
Where to Scatter Ashes
Loved ones can choose to scatter ashes in many locations that held special meaning for the deceased. Here are some common places:
- Over a body of water like an ocean, lake, or river
- In nature spots like mountains, forests, gardens, or under a favorite tree
- At a park the person enjoyed, on a golf course, favorite hiking trail, etc.
- Near the person’s home or a family cabin
- At the deceased’s college campus or meaningful travel locale
- In a mausoleum garden at a cemetery
It’s thoughtful to choose a location the deceased loved or where they enjoyed spending time. But also consider whether scattering is permitted there and if the site offers the mood you desire.
How to Scatter Ashes
When you’re ready to scatter a loved one’s ashes, here are some tips:
- Start by removing the ashes from the urn. You can pour them directly or use your hands.
- You may wish to say a few words, prayers, or remembrances.
- Release the ashes steadily and allow them to disperse naturally.
- Go slowly so you don’t scatter too much in one place.
- Let the process feel meditative and therapeutic.
- Consider scattering some ashes and saving the rest to scatter later.
Think about your loved one and focus on feeling at peace. Scatter the ashes in a way that feels right for you and your family.
Scattering Ashes at Sea
For many people, scattering ashes over the ocean or sea represents beauty, freedom and eternity. Here are some tips if scattering ashes at sea:
- Research locations and charter a boat or cruise to go offshore.
- Select a meaningful spot like near a lighthouse, island, or where you vacationed.
- Schedule your scattering for calm seas if possible.
- Bring motion sickness remedies in case swells cause nausea.
- Consider delivering a eulogy and including ceremonial elements.
- Release the ashes to the winds and waves so they disperse.
Scattering at sea is a poetic tribute for many. Make it special based on your loved one’s personality and wishes.
Scattering Ashes on Land
To scatter ashes on land areas like gardens, trails or mountains:
- Pick a spot with privacy and permission to scatter.
- Plan when few others will be around if you desire quiet.
- Bring tools like a rake or trowel to work ashes gently into the soil.
- You may choose to leave some ashes visible on top of the earth.
- Say a few heartfelt words as you scatter and reflect.
- Spend time visualizing your memories and relationship with your loved one.
Take your time to make the experience peaceful and therapeutic. The land will hold your loved one’s ashes gently.
Scattering Ashes from the Air
Some families choose to scatter their loved one’s ashes from an airplane. Options include:
- Chartering a plane for a private ash scattering ceremony.
- Working with ash scattering services who provide specialized flights.
- Booking a sightseeing flight and discreetly scattering a portion of ashes.
- Obtaining permission from loved ones, pilots, etc. first.
- Selecting a meaningful flight path over memorable landmarks.
- Releasing ashes gradually over a wide area during the flight.
- Following any aviation regulations regarding scattering ashes.
Airplane ash scattering allows for covering great distances and creating an unforgettable memorial experience.
Ashes Scattering Regulations
Before deciding where and how to scatter ashes, research any local laws or regulations that may prohibit or restrict scattering:
- Many parks, trails, lakes, etc. do not allow ashes scattering.
- Some cities prohibit scattering ashes in public places.
- Airports and airlines have rules about taking ashes onboard flights.
- Ash scattering businesses know suitable public and private areas.
- Cemeteries, golf courses, and beaches may require permission.
- When in doubt, contact authorities to avoid facing any penalties.
Regulations aim to preserve the natural environment and treat human ashes respectfully. Check rules for your chosen scattering locations.
Scattering Ashes Ceremony Ideas
To make the experience more meaningful, you may wish to plan a ceremonial scattering of ashes event. Ideas include:
- Invite close family and friends who knew your loved one.
- Select symbolic reading materials like poems or religious passages.
- Provide biodegradable funeral flowers.
- Play your loved one’s favorite music.
- Share special memories, anecdotes, and eulogy remarks.
- Serve your loved one’s favorite foods and drinks if possible.
- Wear symbolic clothing like their favorite color.
- Create a commemorative program.
- Capture photos and videos to remember the ceremony.
- Express your love and say goodbye.
Personalize your ash scattering event in ways that honor your loved one and support your family’s grief.
Keepsake Ash Ideas After Scattering
Many families keep a portion of cremation ashes as memorial keepsakes after scattering. Creative keepsake ideas include:
- Fill a jewelry pendant or locket to keep close to your heart.
- Place in an urn, keepsake box, or urn necklace.
- Incorporate into a special tattoo with ink mixed with ashes.
- inter into custom glass art like an etched portrait, orb, or paperweight.
- Press into a vinyl record of favorite songs.
- Mix with paint or clay to create an artwork of your loved one.
- Plant with a tree or in a garden to symbolize growth.
- Join in memorial site markers like an engraved bench.
Keepsakes support ongoing connections and healing. Choose a meaningful, personalized memorial keepsake.
Coping With Loss After Scattering Ashes
After scattering a loved one’s ashes, grief may resurface as you adjust to them being physically gone. Ways to cope include:
- Allowing yourself to fully grieve with support from loved ones.
- Remembering the scattering ceremony.
- Visiting the scattering site to feel close to your loved one.
- Continuing bonds through memories, keepsakes, and traditions.
- Finding comfort that your loved one rests in a cherished place.
- Joining bereavement groups to share experiences.
- Considering grief counseling if your loss feels overwhelming.
- Be gentle with yourself and take things one day at a time.
The scattering ashes ritual can bring both closure and solace. Healing happens gradually. Reach out for any support you need.
Choosing How to Handle Ashes
Scattering or keeping ashes is a very personal decision. Factors to consider:
- The deceased’s wishes – Honor any preferences they shared.
- Your own preferences – Listen to what feels right for you.
- Family and friends’ input – Talk over ideas and concerns together.
- Meaningful locations – Tie location to your loved one’s life.
- Emotional readiness – Wait until the time feels appropriate.
- Closure – Will scattering or keeping ashes better help you heal?
- Regulations – Ensure your plans are permitted.
Think carefully and allow the process to help move your grief forward when the time is right.
Conclusion
Scattering or spreading ashes is a symbolic way to lay a loved one to rest. When you’re ready, choose a meaningful location and ceremony to cherish their memory. Handle the ashes respectfully and let the ritual support your grief journey. While ashes scattering represents saying goodbye, your loved one will remain in your heart always.
