Romeo and Juliet is one of Shakespeare’s most famous plays, known for its compelling – yet tragic – love story. The play follows two young “star cross’d lovers”, Romeo and Juliet, who fall deeply in love despite their feuding families, the Montagues and Capulets. Their intense and brief relationship ends in both of their untimely deaths. But was Romeo and Juliet’s love real, or was it merely youthful infatuation and impulsiveness? This question has been debated by scholars, critics and readers for centuries. In this article, we will analyze Romeo and Juliet’s relationship and the evidence for whether their love was authentic or fleeting infatuation.
What is Love vs Infatuation?
Before analyzing Romeo and Juliet’s relationship, it is important to understand the difference between true love and infatuation:
Love is defined as a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. Real love involves knowing and understanding the other person through genuine intimacy and commitment. Love is patient, kind, selfless and enduring.
Infatuation, on the other hand, refers to an intense but short-lived passion or attraction to someone. Infatuation is characterized by an overwhelming preoccupation and obsession with the person. It is primarily driven by emotions and physical attraction, without a deeper knowledge of the person. Infatuation tends to be impulsive and focused on immediate attraction rather than long-term compatibility.
The main differences between love and infatuation include:
| Love | Infatuation |
|---|---|
| Deeper understanding of the person | Superficial understanding of the person |
| Mutual care, compromise and respect | Focus on one’s own attraction and desires |
| Thinks about the other’s needs and happiness | Thinks mostly about one’s own happiness |
| Sees the person’s flaws clearly | Idealizes the person and overlooks flaws |
| Commits despite challenges | Loses interest when infatuation fades |
| Enduring | Short-lived |
Keeping these differences in mind, let’s examine Romeo and Juliet’s relationship and the evidence that it was either authentic love or temporary infatuation.
Evidence of Infatuation
There are several signs throughout the play that Romeo and Juliet’s devotion is characterized by hasty passion and infatuation rather than deeper love:
Sudden onset of intense emotions: Romeo and Juliet fall desperately in love mere hours after first meeting at the Capulet party. There is an immediate magnetic attraction, demonstrated by Romeo’s declaration that “For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night” upon first glimpsing Juliet. This immediate, overwhelming attraction is typical of infatuation.
Reckless behavior: The couple engage in reckless, risky actions in the name of their love, including continued secret meetings and a rushed elopement. This impulsivity reflects infatuation’s volatility.
Overdramatic expressions: Both Romeo and Juliet engage in highly romanticized, exaggerated proclamations like “My bounty is as boundless as the sea, My love as deep; the more I give to thee, The more I have, for both are infinite.” This hyperbolic language is suggestive of infatuation.
Priority of passion over practicality: Despite scarcely knowing each other, Romeo and Juliet prioritize their feelings over pragmatic concerns like their family feud and the danger of their secret affair. This bypassing of reason and reality in favor of immediate passion is emblematic of infatuation.
Inseparability and preoccupation: Once they meet, Romeo and Juliet become completely consumed with thoughts of one another, even to the point of ignoring close companions. Their sudden inseparability and preoccupation hints at infatuation.
Drastic decisions: Romeo and Juliet make life-altering decisions solely based on their newfound feelings, including choosing to marry. Love is often associated with rational decision making, while infatuation leads to rash choices.
Hasty marriage: The couple marries less than 24 hours after meeting, prioritizing their impatience to be together over taking time to truly know one another. This whirlwind marriage suggests fleeting infatuation.
Evidence of Love
However, there are also several signs that what Romeo and Juliet share transcends mere infatuation and reflects authentic, lasting love:
Mutual passion and devotion: Romeo and Juliet’s feelings are clearly reciprocal, not just a one-sided obsession as found in infatuation. The give-and-take of their relationship implies real intimacy.
Willingness to give up things of value: Both Romeo and Juliet are willing to sacrifice deeply valued relationships and loyalties for the sake of their love. Juliet refuses her parents’ wishes and Romeo abandons his family feud, proving their commitment.
Lasting feelings after separation: Even when divided, their devotion persists, as evidenced by Romeo’s misery in exile over losing Juliet. Infatuation fades in absence.
Effort to truly know one another: The couple have heartfelt conversations where they share their innermost thoughts, fears and dreams, not just flattery and surface compliments as found in infatuation.
Acceptance of flaws: They love one another despite knowing of each other’s imperfect traits – Juliet’s impulsiveness and Romeo’s volatility. Real love involves seeing flaws clearly.
Unselfish love: Both Romeo and Juliet consider the other’s well-being ahead of their own. Juliet drinks the potion for Romeo’s sake, while Romeo rushes to her tomb out of concern for her.
Depth of feeling: Their love is so profound it defies rationality. Juliet says “my bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep.” Such immense feeling implies more than a crush.
Undying devotion: Even when believing Juliet is dead, Romeo declares he cannot live without her: “I still will stay with thee, and never from this palace of dim night depart again.” His commitment persists beyond infatuation’s expiration.
Willingness to die for one another: In the play’s tragic ending, the couple choose to take their own lives rather than live apart. This the ultimate sacrifice reflects true, selfless love.
Conclusion
In conclusion, there are compelling points on both sides of the debate over whether Romeo and Juliet’s devotion represents genuine love or temporary infatuation. Their sudden onset of overpowering passion, reckless behavior and hasty choices provide evidence that what they feel is merely youthful desire and not enduring love. However, their mutual intimacy, willingness to sacrifice, acceptance of flaws and profound commitment also strongly suggest their relationship involves substantial depth and meaning beyond fleeting infatuation. While their love brings tragedy, it also demonstrates a purity of feeling and immortal power that transcends reason. Perhaps it is the coexistence of love’s sensibilities and infatuation’s extremities that makes Romeo and Juliet’s relationship so compelling. Its nuanced nature mirrors love’s inherent contradictions – at once rational and irrational, prudent and impulsive. Rather than definitively categorizing their bond as either lasting love or shallow infatuation, perhaps it is more accurate to say that Romeo and Juliet represent love in its most intense, unconditional and uncontrollable form.
