Many couples who are trying to conceive their second child are surprised to find that it can often take longer than it did with their first pregnancy. There are several reasons why getting pregnant again can be more difficult.
You’re older
Age is one of the biggest factors affecting fertility in women. As women get older, especially over 35, they have fewer viable eggs left and may start to have issues with egg quality. Even just a few years can make a difference. If you got pregnant easily in your late 20s or early 30s with your first child, trying to conceive in your mid to late 30s for a second baby presents more of a challenge. Your ovarian reserve is lower and your egg quality declines.
Your cycles may be irregular
It’s common for menstrual cycles to become less regular as you age. When you were younger, you likely ovulated around the same time each month. Now you might notice more fluctuation in your cycle lengths. Irregular cycles make it harder to pinpoint ovulation and time intercourse effectively when trying to get pregnant.
You’re more stressed
Having a child adds a lot of stress to a woman’s life. You now have to juggle parenting responsibilities along with your career and relationship. This added stress can affect hormones and make conceiving more difficult. Stress leads to elevated cortisol levels, which can interfere with ovulation, fertilization and implantation. Managing stress should be a priority when trying for another baby.
You’re more busy
A toddler or older child takes a lot of time and attention. As a result, couples tend to have less sex when trying for their second child, or the timing of intercourse might be off. You have to find the time and energy for sex when you’re already exhausted from running after your firstborn all day. Making intercourse a priority by scheduling it and getting creative with positions that work with a baby belly can help.
Your partner’s sperm count declines
Just like women’s fertility declines with age, men also experience decreases in sperm count and quality as they get older. DNA damage in sperm increases after 35. If your partner is a few years older now than he was when you conceived your first child, it might be contributing to conception difficulties.
You’ve gained weight
Many women find it difficult to lose the “baby weight” they gained during their first pregnancy. Carrying extra weight can interfere with ovulation and conception. Excess fat cells alter levels of estrogen in the body, which can disrupt the hormones involved in reproduction. Losing weight if you need to can help increase your chances of getting pregnant again.
Your lifestyle is less healthy
Having a baby is exhausting, and it’s hard to stay on top of healthy habits. You might find you drink more coffee or alcohol, exercise less, or don’t eat as nutritiously as you did pre-baby. Getting back on track with a healthy lifestyle can positively affect your fertility. Eat a nutrient-dense diet, exercise regularly, limit caffeine and alcohol, take a prenatal vitamin and get enough sleep.
You’re breastfeeding
If you are still breastfeeding your first child, this can delay your fertility returning. Breastfeeding impacts ovulation because it inhibits the return of normal hormonal patterns. It’s common not to get your period back for several months after giving birth if breastfeeding. The longer you breastfeed, the longer it may take for your cycle to regulate again. Once menstruation returns and breastfeeding decreases, your chances of conception should improve.
You have a new IUD
Some women get a non-hormonal or low-hormone IUD like the copper IUD after having their first child to prevent pregnancy. But this can also make it more difficult to conceive your second child when you want to try. IUDs create inflammation and changes in the uterine lining that impede implantation of any fertilized eggs. You would need to have the IUD removed before trying to conceive again.
You have uterine scarring
If you had a C-section delivery, surgery to remove fibroids or other procedures involving the uterus, scarring could have formed. Scar tissue can prevent a fertilized egg from properly implanting in the uterus. Talk to your doctor if you suspect scarring might be hindering your efforts to get pregnant again.
Your partner has lower sperm mobility
The quality of your partner’s sperm decreases slightly with age as well. One of the parameters of semen analysis that declines is sperm motility, or the ability to swim vigorously. Lower motility makes it harder for sperm to reach and penetrate the egg. If you didn’t do a semen analysis prior to conceiving your first child, consider getting one done to check if mobility is within normal parameters.
You’re less fertile after a loss
Some women miscarry before having their first successful pregnancy, while others experience loss between their first and second child. Research shows that women are less fertile for up to a year after a miscarriage. The traumatic event causes hormonal shifts that can disrupt ovulation and make getting pregnant right away more difficult. Being patient with your body as it recovers can help.
You have a thyroid problem
Thyroid issues like hypothyroidism and hyperthyroidism affect hormone levels in the body. These hormonal changes can impair ovulation. Sometimes thyroid problems surface after you’ve had your first child, which can make getting pregnant again harder. Getting your thyroid tested to rule out or treat any imbalances is important.
Your fertility medications are less effective
Some couples need help getting pregnant through ovulation induction medications like Clomid or gonadotropin injections. These stimulants help mature and release eggs. Over time, the ovaries can become less responsive to these fertility drugs. Higher doses or different medications may be necessary when trying to conceive again.
Your partner has lower sperm count
In addition to lower sperm motility, your partner’s sperm count may also decline slightly over time. The average decline in sperm concentration is around 1.4% per year after age 30. So even a few years can drop his sperm count into a lower range, making fertilization less likely. Testing can determine if count is within normal parameters or if treatment might help.
You have a progesterone deficiency
Progesterone is an important hormone for supporting pregnancy. Some women don’t produce enough progesterone to sustain implantation and early fetal development. Low levels are often detected in women experiencing recurrent pregnancy loss. Progesterone deficiencies become more common with age. Testing progesterone levels after ovulation can reveal if it’s contributing to difficulty getting pregnant again.
You have a shorter luteal phase
The luteal phase is between ovulation and menstruation in your cycle. A short luteal phase of 10 days or less doesn’t leave enough time for an embryo to implant properly before the uterine lining sheds. Some women have a luteal phase defect that they didn’t know about until they start trying for a second pregnancy and track their cycles more closely.
Your partner’s testosterone level changed
Testosterone does play a role in sperm and semen quality for men. Becoming a father can affect testosterone levels. One study found that men experienced a significant decline in testosterone after the birth of their first child. Lower testosterone could contribute to fertility issues when trying for another pregnancy. Testosterone replacement might help in some cases.
You have more reproductive health issues
Some women develop reproductive or sexual health issues after their first pregnancy or as they age. Problems like endometriosis, fibroids, cysts, pelvic inflammatory disease or vaginal dryness and pain can emerge. These conditions affect fertility in various ways from disrupting ovulation to interfering with conception. Consulting a doctor to identify and treat any new health problems can help.
Your first child was unplanned
Couples who got pregnant easily and unexpectedly the first time are often surprised when they struggle later on trying to have their second baby. The difference is that they are actively timing intercourse and monitoring cycles now. If your first child was more of a “surprise,” it may just seem harder when you are consciously trying.
You’re less motivated
Sometimes having one child causes couples to feel less driven to have more kids. You don’t have the same sense of urgency. Making more effort to try on the optimal fertile days and having enough sex can help overcome this hurdle when you do want to expand your family.
How to improve your chances of getting pregnant again
If you are finding it more difficult and taking longer to conceive your second child, there are some things you can do to help increase your odds:
- Track ovulation with kits to pinpoint your fertile window
- Use an app to record your cycles, symptoms and intimacy
- Have sex every other day during your fertile days
- Strive for a healthy BMI if you are overweight
- Discuss egg freezing with your doctor if you are over 35
- Reduce stress through yoga, meditation or other relaxation techniques
- Get at least 7-9 hours of sleep each night
- Exercise moderately most days of the week
- Take a prenatal vitamin with folate
- Eat a balanced, nutritious diet
- Avoid smoking, excessive alcohol and drugs
- See your doctor to address any medical or hormonal issues
- Consider IVF or other fertility treatments if indicated
When to seek fertility help when trying for another pregnancy
If you are under 35, most experts recommend trying to conceive naturally for 12 months before seeking medical help. Over 35, it’s advised to seek treatment after 6 months as fertility declines more rapidly with age. Talk to your doctor earlier if you have any risk factors like endometriosis, irregular cycles or you’ve experienced miscarriages. There are various fertility tests and treatments including:
- Ovulation induction medications
- Intrauterine insemination (IUI)
- Surgery to remove uterine polyps, fibroids or scar tissue
- Hysterosalpingogram to check for blocked fallopian tubes
- Laparoscopy to diagnose and treat endometriosis
- Donor eggs or sperm
- IVF with your own or donor eggs
When you’re really ready for another baby
While it may take longer, following these tips can help increase your chances of conceiving a second child. Stay positive and remember your age is the most significant factor. Getting healthy, tracking your cycles meticulously, and scheduling intimacy around ovulation will put you on the path to success. If you aren’t pregnant in 6 months to a year, seek medical advice. Be patient with your body and yourself. The daily demands of raising your first child can make it harder to get pregnant again, but it will happen when the time is right.
