It can be very distressing to see your girlfriend crying and not know what to do. Here are some quick answers to common questions about how to respond when your girlfriend is upset:
Should I ask what’s wrong right away?
It’s natural to want to find out why she’s so upset. However, it’s usually better to start by just being there for her. Ask if she wants to talk about it or just needs a shoulder to cry on. Pushing her to open up before she’s ready could make things worse.
What if she says she doesn’t want to talk about it?
Respect her wishes. Let her know you’re there for her whenever she’s ready. Crying can be cathartic and sometimes people just need to let their emotions out on their own terms. Offer comfort through your presence, a hug, or by getting her a tissue.
Should I try to get her to stop crying?
Don’t tell her to stop crying or rush to distract her from the emotion. It’s important to acknowledge her feelings and let her fully experience them. Suppressing feelings often makes things worse. However, you can gently suggest doing something soothing like watching a funny video once the peak emotion has passed.
What if she cries for a really long time?
It’s normal for crying spells to last anywhere from a few minutes to over an hour. Just stay patient and empathetic. Offer water so she doesn’t get dehydrated. If crying turns into hyperventilating, try encouraging slower breaths. Very prolonged crying may signify a more serious issue meriting professional help.
Should I give advice or try to problem solve?
Your instinct may be to switch into solution mode, but this can feel minimizing if she just wants to vent and feel listened to. Focus on being supportive first. Once she’s feeling a bit better, you can ask if she would find it helpful to brainstorm solutions together.
What are some ways to comfort my crying girlfriend?
Here are some simple yet meaningful ways to provide solace and show you care:
- Sit with her and listen without judgment
- Offer a tissue or warm drink
- Rub her back or hold her hand
- Give her a warm hug
- Verbally express your concern and support
- Let her know she’s not alone
What should I say to my crying girlfriend?
Keep verbal comments simple yet compassionate. Phrases like these can offer real comfort:
- “I’m here for you.”
- “What can I do to support you?”
- “It’s okay. Let it out.”
- “This too shall pass.”
- “You’re not alone.”
- “I care about you so much.”
Avoid problem-solving, minimizing her feelings, or saying you know how she feels. Focus on empathy over solutions while she’s actively upset.
What if I start crying too when she’s upset?
It’s okay to get emotional seeing someone you love in distress. Don’t try to force yourself to stay stoic. Share that you hate to see her like this. However, take care not to make it about you or place an expectation that she has to soothe your emotions in that moment. Refocus on being her rock until the storm passes.
When should I give her space vs. providing comfort?
Gauge whether she seems to want company or solitude. Ask if she’d like to be alone for a bit. If she says no, stay with her and keep interacting as long as she seems comforted by your presence. If she prefers space, softly assure her you’ll be close by if she needs you. Respect her wishes.
How can I keep supporting her after she’s done crying?
Once her tears dry up, don’t just go back to business as usual. Check in with her about how she’s feeling now. Bring up the issue more if she wants to process it or offer pleasant distractions if she’d rather move on. Continue providing emotional support and be patient in the hours and days after.
What if she has frequent crying spells?
Occasional crying fits are normal, but chronic frequent crying could indicate an underlying issue that needs addressing. Look for patterns about when it happens and consider contributing factors like stress, grief, depression, anxiety, or relationship problems. Gently encourage seeking help from a counselor if you’re very concerned.
How can I be proactive about her crying less in the future?
While you can’t control when your girlfriend cries, you can help influence her overall well-being and stability in the relationship. Here are some tips:
- Build trust and intimacy so she feels safe confiding in you
- Work on actively listening and validating her feelings
- Learn to argue in a healthy way to resolve conflicts
- Help identify stressors and find solutions together
- Suggest healthy self-care activities you can enjoy together
- Plan relaxing dates away from daily pressures
- Surprise her occasionally with sweet gestures just because
Conclusion
Seeing your girlfriend cry can be worrying and heartbreaking. With empathy, patience and compassion, you can get through these tough moments together. Try to be fully present emotionally, offer comfort without judgment, and provide lasting support. Learning to identify root causes and minimize relationship stresses can also be helpful. Most importantly, keep showing up for each other through the tears. You’ll deepen trust and intimacy that makes the joyful times even sweeter.
| Situation | Do | Don’t |
|---|---|---|
| She starts crying unexpectedly |
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| You ask what’s wrong and she says she doesn’t want to talk about it |
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| She cries for over an hour |
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| After she’s done crying, you discuss the situation |
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Further tips for being supportive when your girlfriend is crying
Here are some additional pointers for constructively handling the situation both in the moment and beyond:
- Bring tissues or a warm washcloth so she can clean up when ready
- If in public, offer to move to somewhere more private
- Don’t tell her to calm down or “relax”
- Suggest a few coping techniques like deep breathing if she’s hysterical
- Encourage drinking water after to avoid headaches
- Follow up via text if you’re not able to physically stay with her
- Check on her the next day and ask how she’s feeling
- Do something thoughtful like bringing her favorite food or flowers
- Encourage seeking counseling if crying is chronic or disruptive
With emotional intelligence, care, and patience, you can develop skills for constructively handling difficult situations when a loved one is upset. Learning to fully listen, offer compassion, and provide lasting support beyond the tears will help strengthen your relationship through good times and bad.
