People decide to leave the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (commonly called the Mormon Church) for a variety of reasons. Some struggle with doubts about the church’s doctrines, history or teachings. Others cite social issues or lifestyle choices as their motivation. Many report feeling constrained or controlled by the church’s high expectations. The decision to leave one’s faith is deeply personal and often difficult. This article will explore the most common reasons people decide to quit the Mormon Church.
Disagreement with Doctrines and Beliefs
Many who leave the LDS Church report disagreeing with some of its official doctrines and teachings. Here are some of the more controversial ones that prompt people to question or leave their faith:
Polygamy
In the early days of the church, founder Joseph Smith taught the doctrine of plural marriage, encouraging some male members to take multiple wives. The practice was officially abandoned in 1890 but fundamentalist offshoot groups still practice polygamy. Many contemporary Mormons find the concept of polygamy unsettling and at odds with their moral beliefs.
Blacks and the Priesthood
Until 1978, Black men were restricted from holding the priesthood in the LDS Church. Many Mormons were troubled by this racist policy and left the church over the issue before it was repealed. The priesthood ban continues to bother some members today.
LGBTQ Issues
The Mormon Church opposes same-sex marriage and considers acting on homosexual feelings to be a serious transgression. These stances have prompted some LGBTQ individuals and allies to dissociate from the faith.
Women and the Priesthood
Unlike their male counterparts, Mormon women are not ordained to priesthood offices. Some find this gender-based discrepancy in ordination offensive or unfair. The Church also espouses traditional gender roles, with men heading households. This patriarchal structure troubles some members.
Temple Rituals
To enter a Mormon temple, members must wear sacred garments and participate in customs like proxy baptisms for the dead. These unfamiliar rituals can feel strange or off-putting, causing temple worship to become a shelf item for some.
Heavenly Mother
Mormon doctrine teaches that every human has a Heavenly Father and a Heavenly Mother, but very little is revealed about our Mother in Heaven. Some members wish the Church would expand on this theology or grant Heavenly Mother more prominence.
Historical Accuracy of Scriptures
Some lose faith in uniquely Mormon scriptures like the Book of Mormon and Pearl of Great Price when they encounter contradictory historical evidence or anachronisms that call the books’ ancient origins into question.
Struggles with LDS History and Transparency
Studying LDS history can profoundly impact members’ testimonies, especially when they encounter facts at odds with the church’s official portrayal. Many who leave cite historical issues as their reason for quitting. Common examples include:
Polygamy and Polyandry in Nauvoo
Joseph Smith practiced polygamy in secret during the Nauvoo period, including taking other men’s wives as plural wives. Some find his polyandrous marriages unethical or indicative he was not a prophet. The secrecy around Nauvoo polygamy also disturbs members.
First Vision Accounts
Smith recorded multiple contradictory versions of his seminal First Vision experience. Apologists explain this as a common aspect of authentic eyewitness accounts, but others see it as evidence the vision was fabricated later.
Book of Abraham Translation
The Book of Abraham is part of LDS scripture that Smith claimed to translate from Egyptian papyri. Egyptologists have since identified the papyri as common funerary documents unrelated to Abraham. This evidence persuades some members Smith fabricated the translation.
Race and the Priesthood Essay
In a 2014 essay, the Church disavowed previous theories promoted by leaders to justify its priesthood ban on Blacks, declaring those theories were influenced by the racism of the time. Some find this admission troubling and wonder what current teachings may one day be disavowed.
Book of Mormon Translation
Unlike the Book of Mormon’s official artwork depicting Smith translating by examining the gold plates, historians confirm he used a seer stone in a hat. Members bothered by this inconsistency sometimes lose trust in other church claims.
Temple and Freemasonry
Many parts of the LDS temple ritual resemble Masonic ceremonies Smith was exposed to shortly before introducing temple ordinances. Some converts from Masonic backgrounds feel temple rituals were plagiarized.
Social and Cultural Issues
For many members, deciding to leave has more to do with social than doctrinal concerns. Mormonism’s high-demand lifestyle can overwhelm members. Those who quit often report feeling socially isolated, judged or misunderstood in the church community.
Time Commitment
Active Latter-day Saints must attend three hours of church each Sunday, perform monthly ministering assignments, attend the temple regularly and fulfill time-intensive callings. For many members, especially those with young families, fulfilling these demanding responsibilities becomes overwhelming.
Garments
Adult members who have been through the temple wear the underwear-like temple garment as a sacred reminder of covenants made in the temple. Having to wear garments can be a challenge for some members, including converts, athletes, members in hot climates and anyone with sensitivities to certain fabrics.
Word of Wisdom
This health code prohibits alcohol, tobacco, coffee and tea. Some members find the prohibition on coffee or tea to be trivial or burdensome. Many young adults also have a hard time abstaining from alcohol at social events.
LGBTQ Policies
Policies that prohibit baptism for children of same-sex couples and consider those in same-sex marriages to be apostates are hurtful for many members. LGBTQ members and allies often feel judged or unwelcome.
Sexual Repression
Strict chastity standards prohibiting any sexual activity outside of heterosexual marriage can lead to feelings of shame or inadequacy, especially among LGBTQ members. Teachings condemning masturbation and pornography also create unhealthy feelings about normal sexual impulses.
Gender Roles
Some women struggle with traditional gender roles that encourage them to be homemakers and defer to their husbands as head of the household. Men can feel pressure to be the sole provider.
Perfectionism
The church emphasizes the need for members to be “peculiar” or set apart from the world. For many, this heightened expectation of righteousness leads to unhealthy perfectionism and guilt over normal perceived failings.
Fear of Judgement
Members who don’t fit the mold worry about judgement from more zealous ward members. There is often subtle pressure to portray the perfect LDS family image. Some feel like they have to hide parts of themselves or pretend to be someone they’re not.
Boredeom
With a lay ministry, talks and lessons can sometimes lack preparation and insight. Singing from the same hymnal and repeating the same church programs year after year can also be tedious and mundane for some members seeking greater stimulation.
Intellectual and Spiritual Reasons
Some who leave cite reasons related to intellectual inquiry and spiritual searching. With a faith that provides definitive and absolute answers, those who value theological questioning and spiritual openness can feel restricted.
Need for Greater Gender Equality
Many women struggle with patriarchal church structure and hunger for more gender inclusive theology and opportunities for broader female leadership. Some leave to join more egalitarian faith traditions.
Lack of Intellectual Freedom
Those who love wrestling with theological questions can miss the freedom to really explore and engage in intellectual inquiry without pre-determined conclusions that reinforce LDS orthodoxy.
Limited Access to Church History
Members desiring a more transparent, unfiltered dive into LDS origins find official church resources inadequate. Some seek out less sanitized accounts and end up overwhelmed by troubling facts.
One True Church Claim
The belief that only the LDS Church holds Christ’s full gospel and authority can feel condescending to those who value interfaith dialogue and spiritual insights from diverse traditions.
Reliance on Personal Spiritual Witness
Basing faith on a subjective sense of personal revelation with the Holy Spirit leaves some members feeling spiritually unmoored when emotional promptings change.
Evolution and Science
Those who embrace human evolution, the big bang theory or other scientific advances can feel intellectually stifled by perceived conflicts with Mormon teachings.
Biblical Criticism
Academic approaches that analyze the Bible as an ancient text with human authorship challenge faith founded on scripture literalism. Mormon reliance on biblical inerrancy troubles some members.
Absolutist Epistemology
Some members find the church’s claim to exclusive doctrinal certainty and its rejection of relativism or nuance too rigid for their postmodern, open approach to truth and meaning.
Lifestyle and Family Reasons
For many, the decision to leave the church relates more to personal life choices than abstract intellectual concepts or historical problems. These lifestyle conflicts often emerge during young adulthood.
Pre-Marital Sex
Youth who naturally experiment sexually feel shame and distance from the church. Some lose their belief in teachings they view as repressive and leave so they can make their own choices without guilt.
Alcohol, Tattoos and Piercings
Younger generations adopt trends like cocktails, tattoos and piercings their parents view as rebellious. They drift away from a church culture that condemns these choices.
Secular Music and Media
Members who explore edgy, provocative artistic expressions at odds with Mormon norms sometimes feel unwelcome and separate themselves.
Sabbath Observance
Strict Sunday observance with lots of “don’ts” feels restrictive and pharisaical to members who want greater freedom over their weekend recreation.
Dating and Marriage
Youth who choose not to serve missions or marry in temples feel excluded. Some exit to date and marry outside church cultural expectations around romance and family formation.
LGBTQ Identity
Coming out as gay requires finding an affirming community. Remaining in the church means either celibacy or mixed-orientation marriage, prompting many LGBTQ member to leave.
Feminist Identity
Some women adopt feminist viewpoints at odds with the church’s patriarchal framework. They exit to actualize an identity that embraces female empowerment on more equal terms.
Transition to Post-Mormon Life
Once members stop believing and participating, they seek new community among those who have also left. Transferring social ties out of the church accelerates disengagement.
Conclusion
Mormons choose to exit their childhood faith for profoundly personal reasons. Many experience painful disillusionment, grief and family disruption after questioning cherished assumptions. With its high expectations, exclusive truth claims and tightly-knit culture, the LDS Church compels deep investment. Leaving requires reconstructing one’s entire worldview, identity and social circle. Those who cannot in good conscience remain find letting go extremely difficult. But thousands find authenticity, freedom and peace by following truth and conscience over tradition and comfort. Their courage provides hope to those still struggling to navigate faith transition.