Why am I so obsessed with the chase?

Many people find themselves preoccupied, enthralled, or even obsessed with the notion of a “chase” in life. This could pertain to chasing dreams, success, wealth, status, approval, relationships, knowledge, or any number of desires. But where does this tendency come from, and why are some more prone to it than others? There are several potential factors that may explain why someone becomes consumed by the chase.

The Brain’s Reward System

The brain’s reward system, particularly the release of dopamine, is a key biological factor. Dopamine provides us with feelings of motivation and pleasure when we achieve or anticipate achieving something we want. It drives us to repeat behaviors needed for survival, such as eating and sex. Modern society provides countless other ways to trigger dopamine releases, and we can become addicted to chasing that brief rush. Social media likes, winning a game, shopping purchases, and anticipating events are all examples. The drive for more becomes obsessive.

Childhood Programming

Our childhood experiences often lay the groundwork for what we chase. Children observe what their parents chase, such as career success, wealth acquisition, or social status. The underlying message is that achievement brings happiness and self-worth. Children may also develop insecurities if parents excessively chase their love and approval. This embeds the chase for validation from others.

Cultural Messaging

The predominant cultural narrative also prioritizes chasing material and social goals. We are told to chase our dreams, find meaningful work, earn financial freedom, have a vibrant social life, find true love, etc. Consumer culture in particular feeds obsession by convincing us that we are lacking something and need to chase the next purchase, experience, or lifestyle. Its messaging taps into our natural desires for security, belonging, and esteem.

Personality Factors

Personality plays a role too. Those who score high on ambition and conscientiousness may be strongly motivated to achieve. Extroverts eager for social contact chase interaction and novelty. People with low self-esteem chase external validation. Neurotic individuals chase emotional stability and control. Sensation-seekers chase excitement and thrills. Understanding your innate tendencies provides insight into why certain chases hold appeal.

Why Do We Become Obsessed With the Chase?

What drives the chase from interest to obsession? Here are some potential explanations:

Dopamine Hits

As mentioned, dopamine provides a pleasurable neurochemical rush when we make progress on a chase. We easily become hooked on this feeling and seek to replicate it, much like an addiction. Setting and achieving incremental goals supplies our brains with a steady stream of dopamine. For some, obtaining the reward itself is less desirable than prolonging the ecstatic hunt.

Avoidance of Discomfort

Chasing can also serve as an escape from uncomfortable emotions and limits our ability to live fully in the present moment. By fixating on the next target, we avoid confronting pain, emptiness, anxiety, inadequacy, boredom, uncertainty, and fears. The chase becomes a distraction from internal issues and existential dilemmas. Staying busy also prevents us from recognizing when enough is enough.

Feeling Significant and Alive

Successfully obtaining a goal provides a rush of positive emotions like excitement, passion, and confidence. It makes us feel significant, competent, and satisfied. The sense of being fully alive that comes with achieving a long-sought desire is fleeting, so we soon begin chasing the next target to recapture that feeling again. Chasing gives direction, purpose, and momentum when life feels mundane.

Competitiveness and Comparisons

Envy and competitiveness fuel chasing what others have that we lack. Social media particularly enables obsession-inducing comparisons. We chase inflated, filtered versions of success that elicit FOMO and doubts about our worthiness. Keeping up with or surpassing others provides an ego boost but requires constantly raising the bar. We compulsively chase the Joneses.

Escape from Mortality

Chasing can be an attempt to establish lasting meaning, value, and legacy in order to transcend death. Leaving a mark, achieving greatness, and being remembered keeps existential angst at bay. Obsessively chasing modes of immortality, whether through fame, fortune, power, or progeny, wards off fears about our impermanence. But no amount of chasing can change the human condition.

Signs You Are Obsessed With the Chase

How can you differentiate between healthy drive and obsessive chasing? Consider if any of these apply:

Constant Goal-Setting Without Enjoying the Ride

Do you immediately replace achieved goals with new ones rather than savoring your success? Does the destination overshadow the journey? Chasing assumes happiness awaits at the finish line and neglects the present. But the joy is often in the process itself.

Over-Researching Options But Never Taking Action

Obsessive chasing also manifests as extensive research into all potential options but paralysis when it comes to choosing one. Whether due to perfectionism, maximizing gains, or fear of commitment, analysis becomes a substitue for action. We get stuck in preparatory mode.

Using Busyness and Hard Work to Prove Your Worth

Do you base your value on crossing items off a to-do list or working constantly? Being productive can provide meaning, but it becomes obsessive when used to fill an inner void. Over-identifying with tasks and goals leaves little space for reflection and relationships.

Trouble Relaxing and Enjoying Free Time

Obsessive chasing may mean you have difficulty relaxing without guilt or anxiety creeping in. You feel restless and unfulfilled during downtime because it provides no sense of achievement. Idleness allows negative thoughts and emotions to surface.

Feeling Like a Failure When You Lose Momentum

Chasers often struggle when they lose steam and fall short of a desired goal. Rather than readjusting appropriately, they berate themselves. Your worth should not depend on crossing off goals. Failing to achieve something simply means you have more to learn.

Continuing When Chasing Causes Harm

Sometimes chasing does more harm than good, like an unhealthy relationship. But if chasing gives you purpose, you may persist despite red flags and lost joy. Noticing when costs outweigh benefits is difficult due to psychological investment in the chase. Know when to change course.

Losing Interest Once the Chase is Over

Thrill-seekers often lose interest once they actually catch something. The excitement was in the pursuit itself. Chasing euphoria through shallow highs like shopping, partying, gambling, or sexual conquests inevitably leaves you feeling empty.

Neglecting Other Important Areas of Life

Obsession with chasing a particular goal can cause neglect of health, relationships, and balance. Cutting corners ethically or taking harmful risks may follow. Chasing success should not come at the cost of wellbeing or values. Long-term costs outweigh any immediate gains.

Relying on External Things for Validation

Basing self-worth on catching something external — money, fame, image, status, partners, etc. — leads to conditional happiness. These rewards are fleeting, and over-investing leaves you empty. Chasing should stem from internal desires, not external pressures.

Dangers of Obsessive Chasing

What are the potential risks and downsides of obsessively chasing goals and dreams?

Stress and Burnout

Relentless chasing takes an exhaustive toll — physically, mentally, and emotionally. As we deplete energy chasing the next target, stress snowballs. Feeling constantly overwhelmed eventually leads to burnout, which hampers productivity and wellbeing.

Diminished Happiness and Life Satisfaction

Research suggests that obsessively chasing goals and achievement is linked to lower happiness, depression, and anxiety. No amount of chasing can satisfy; the goalposts keep moving. Life becomes reduced to crossing off tasks rather than deriving meaning.

Lost Time and Missed Moments

Obsessive chasing makes us postpone living until we reach the finish line. We sacrifice experiences, relationships, and joy in the present moment under the illusion they will come after achieving something. Time passes quickly, and we ultimately realize we missed out.

Relationship Damage

Neglecting loved ones in the name of chasing goals can breed resentment and erode emotional intimacy in relationships. Spouses may feel more like roommates. Kids may conclude they are not a priority in your life. The damage is often irreparable.

Poorer Health

Between stress and forfeiting self-care, obsessive chasing takes a toll on physical health. Headaches, weight gain, insomnia, gastrointestinal issues and illness are common. It accelerates aging. Health inevitably catches up with those who neglect it.

Lost Identity

Basing your entire identity and worth on chasing professional or social goals leaves you feeling lost when you inevitably fall short. You have no sense of self outside of accomplishments, titles, and recognition. Chasing external things cannot provide lasting meaning.

Unethical Behavior

In extreme cases, chasing status, wealth, or competitive edge leads people to abandon morals and values. They may engage in deception, betrayal, or illegal means out of belief that the ends justify the unethical means. Some white-collar crime stems from obsessive chasing.

Addiction

As chasing triggers the brain’s reward system, it can become addictive. Whether the addiction is to success, money, love, thrills, or competition, withdrawal manifests when chasing ends. People may experience depression, anxiety, emptiness, or physical symptoms when severing obsession.

How to Break the Obsessive Chase Cycle

If you recognize signs of obsessive chasing in your own life, here are some ways to reset:

Examine Your Motivations

Reflect on where chasing stems from. Are you chasing money to prove worth? Status to cover insecurities? Be aware of profound reasons that may underlie chasing’s appeal. This builds self-awareness to make better choices.

Set Sustainable Goals

Replace unrealistic, grandiose goals with smaller ones that align with your values. Measure progress in ways other than achievements, money, or material gains. Derive meaning from quality time with loved ones, learning, and service.

Rewrite Your Self-Narrative

Stop seeing yourself as someone who needs to constantly achieve to be worthy. You are enough. Don’t pin your entire identity on professional status, income, or accomplishments. See yourself more holistically.

Practice Mindfulness

Meditation and mindfulness exercises train your brain to stay present rather than fixate on the next target. Appreciate what you have already versus what you lack. Foster gratitude and detachment from temporary things.

Examine Fears

Consider if fear of failure, rejection, or death underlie chasing. We chase illusions of immortality or love to placate existential angst. Get support processing these feelings rather than running from them.

Set Healthy Boundaries

Don’t let chasing make you compromise sleep, relationships, ethics, or self-care. Institute boundaries aligned with your values. For example, put away devices during family time. Prioritize people over productivity.

Pursue Intrinsic Goals

Motivation research shows intrinsic goals like personal growth and community provide more meaning than extrinsic ones like fame and money. Redirect chasing towards creativity, helping others, and inner fulfillment.

Limit Social Media Usage

Since social media fuels comparison, limit usage to avoid the chase for the lives, bodies, and success of others. Use apps to restrict time on sites. Follow inspirational rather than aspirational accounts.

Foster Unconditional Self-Worth

Know you are worthy regardless of any title, milestone, or external evidence. You do not need to chase anything to justify your existence. Spend time affirming your inherent value.

Find Role Models

Surround yourself with people who demonstrate healthy ambition, balance, and purpose. Avoid those who chase shallow rewards or inflate accomplishments. Reframe ideas about what success looks like.

Living with Balance and Purpose

Chasing dreams is part of a meaningful life, but becoming obsessed with chase after chase leads nowhere. You sacrifice the present without ever feeling fulfilled. Here are principles for living wholeheartedly:

Accept That Loss Is Inevitable

Making peace with impermanence and loss alleviates much suffering. We cannot avoid disappointment, death, or changing circumstances. Accepting this helps us let go of chasing illusions. Attach less to temporary gains and titles.

Stay Grounded in Gratitude

Regularly reflect on all the people and blessings that support you already. Nothing else is needed to live fully right now. Gratitude reduces tendencies to chase as an escape from discomfort or boredom with the status quo.

Embrace the Unknown

Obsessive chasing attempts to minimize uncertainty. Relinquishing the need for total control opens new possibilities. View the unknown as enchanting versus threatening. There is joy in forging your own path.

Connect With Something Bigger

Chasing worldly success often stems from fears of mortality. Fighting biology is futile. But you are part of the infinite flow of life and part of a whole. Spiritual practices can provide perspective on what truly matters.

Follow Your Bliss

Chase inspirations, curiosities, and sources of meaning rather than just achievement. Authentically connect with activities that energize you intrinsically. Success will follow what makes you feel alive.

Simplify Your Life

Declutter your schedule, space, and commitments to eliminate needless chasing. Escape the rat race and reclaim time for people and passions. With less to weigh you down, your path becomes clear.

Focus on the Process

Set goals for direction, but stay immersed in the present journey. Progress brings the greatest fulfillment when you enjoy the process, not just the result. Small milestones build a meaningful life incrementally.

Evaluate Your Priorities

Regularly examine how you spend time and energy. Does chasing certain things align with deeply-held values, or are you on autopilot? Make conscious choices. Act deliberately and remain true to yourself.

Remain Flexible

Rigid chasing lacks joy and sustainability when things inevitably fail to go exactly as planned. Stay open to changing course and input from loved ones. Adaptability allows you to thrive amid the unexpected.

Appreciate What Remains the Same

The one constant in life is change. Even cherished people and circumstances inevitably shift or leave us. But love, wisdom, gratitude, and service endure. Anchor in these solid foundations that chasing cannot erode.

Conclusion

The capacity for intense drive is part of being human – it allowed our ancestors to survive and thrive. But left unchecked, chasing can become obsessive and destructive. The key is bringing awareness to unhealthy chasing patterns and realigning with your deepest values. Ground your sense of worth internally rather than in fleeting external things. Set meaningful yet flexible goals tied to purpose and community. Keep perspective through mindfulness and gratitude. Accept that all things change and live fully in each moment. With balance, the chase can be rewarding and joyful rather than compulsive and hollow. Your way forward will become clear when you stop obsessively chasing and instead follow your heart.

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