Both narcissism and narcissists refer to an inflated sense of self and a preoccupation with oneself. However, there are some key differences between the two terms that are important to understand.
What is a narcissist?
A narcissist is someone who has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). This is a mental health condition characterized by:
- A grandiose sense of self-importance
- A preoccupation with fantasies of success, power, brilliance, beauty or perfect love
- A belief they are special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions
- A need for excessive admiration
- A sense of entitlement
- Interpersonally exploitative behavior
- A lack of empathy
- Envy of others or a belief that others are envious of them
- Arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
So in summary, a narcissist is someone with a clinical diagnosis of NPD based on meeting at least 5 of the above criteria. Most experts estimate around 6% of people have NPD.
What is narcissism?
Narcissism refers to a personality trait or characteristic associated with vanity, self-absorption, and an inflated sense of self-importance. Unlike NPD, narcissism exists on a spectrum – some people display more narcissistic traits than others.
We all have some narcissistic traits. Some key signs of narcissism as a personality trait include:
- A tendency to dominate conversations and relationships
- Believing you are better than others
- Exaggerating your talents and achievements
- Expecting constant praise and admiration
- Focusing on your own needs without considering others’
- Becoming impatient or angry when you don’t receive special treatment
- Being obsessed with appearances, attractiveness, success and prestige
- Taking advantage of others for personal gain
- Refusing to recognize other people’s perspectives
Many people display some of these tendencies but do not have NPD. The more narcissistic traits someone has and the stronger they are, however, the more likely it is the person may have a narcissistic personality disorder.
Differences between narcissism and narcissists
Here are some key differences:
| Narcissism | Narcissistic Personality Disorder |
|---|---|
| Personality trait – exists on a continuum/spectrum | Mental disorder – meets diagnostic criteria |
| Some narcissistic traits are common | Affects only about 6% of people |
| Not necessarily pathological | Classified in DSM-5 as a personality disorder |
| May just reflect some arrogance, vanity or self-absorption | Causes significant distress or functional impairment |
| Doesn’t always negatively impact relationships | Associated with many interpersonal problems |
| Varies in severity across individuals | Distinct condition with specific diagnostic criteria |
So in summary, narcissism exists on a continuum and, in milder forms, is a common personality trait. A narcissist, however, has a pathological personality disorder that requires clinical intervention.
Causes of narcissism vs. narcissistic personality disorder
Narcissism as a personality trait may be caused by:
- Genetics – research suggests narcissism is partly heritable
- Parenting styles – children praised excessively or pampered may develop narcissism
- Culture – some cultures may promote narcissism (e.g. fame, image focused)
- Social learning – narcissistic role models or peers can reinforce the behavior
In contrast, it is believed narcissistic personality disorder is caused by a combination of:
- Genetic factors
- Neurobiological factors – the structure or functioning of certain brain areas may promote narcissism
- Environmental factors:
- Lack of parenting or emotional warmth/availability
- Parental overvaluation or excessive praise
- Harsh or abusive parenting
- Spoiling or indulgent parenting
- Insecure attachment styles
- Psychodynamic factors – defense mechanisms to cope with emotional wounds or low self esteem
So NPD likely involves a complex interaction between genetics, neurobiology, upbringing, psychological defense mechanisms and cultural influences.
Behaviors and signs
There is a wide spectrum of narcissistic behaviors, from mild to severe. Some signs of narcissism include:
- Bragging about accomplishments
- Monopolizing conversations
- Exaggerating talents and achievements
- Believing oneself to be special or unique
- Wanting to associate only with high-status people
- Requiring constant praise and admiration
- Judging others critically
- Taking advantage of others
- Lacking empathy
- Being jealous of others
- Arrogance
More extreme narcissistic behaviors seen in NPD can include:
- Exploiting others with little remorse
- Lying or exaggerating to boost their image
- Becoming furious or confrontational if challenged or criticized
- Reacting to perceived slights with rage, shame or humiliation
- Experiencing delusions of talent, brilliance or perfection
- Believing they are entitled to special treatment
- Obsessing over fantasies of success, beauty, ideal love etc
- The inability to empathize with others’ feelings
Impact on relationships
In milder forms, narcissism may just be perceived as arrogance, vanity or self-absorption. More narcissistic people may be seen as egotistical “know-it-alls” or as self-promoting. But these traits don’t necessarily severely impact relationships. Many high achievers or people in leadership roles exhibit some narcissistic traits.
However, as narcissism increases, it can damage relationships. Narcissists may manipulate, exploit or belittle others. Their grandiosity and sense of entitlement can make relationships very one-sided. Their hypersensitivity means they take offence easily. They lack empathy and interest in other people’s emotions or needs. Their arrogance and envy can also make relationships competitive or combative.
In NPD, the narcissist’s maladaptive behaviors can have very destructive effects on relationships with partners, children, friends and colleagues. Their constant need for admiration often distances others, while their devaluation, manipulation and lack of empathy can be incredibly damaging for loved ones.
Effects on romantic relationships
Narcissism can initially be magnetic in romantic relationships, as narcissists present an image of confidence. But the self-centeredness, lack of empathy, and sense of entitlement gradually undermine relationships. Partners may feel ignored, invalidated, or exist only to serve the narcissist’s needs. Narcissists often lack the commitment or emotional intimacy partners expect. Their criticism or attempts to belittle partners can also damage self-esteem. Infidelity is also more common with narcissism.
Effects on other relationships
In friendships or family relationships, narcissism usually manifests as egotism or boastfulness. Their lack of interest in others, and tendency to manipulate or exploit people, often harms relationships long-term. Parents with NPD often lack empathy and use children to bolster their self-esteem. Narcissistic parents often envy or belittle their children’s accomplishments. Such dysfunctional family dynamics can damage a child’s developing self-esteem and interpersonal skills.
Workplace Effects
In work settings, milder narcissism may help ambitious achievement-oriented individuals gain leadership roles or recognition. However, extreme narcissism undermines teams and damages morale due to exploitative, arrogant, competitive, or insensitive behavior. A narcissistic boss may criticize harshly, grab credit for others’ work, or charm superiors while abusing subordinates. They have trouble collaborating and often believe rules don’t apply to them.
Treatment
Treatment for narcissism or NPD focuses on addressing the underlying emotional vulnerability and dysfunctional thinking or behavior patterns. Talk therapy can help narcissists develop greater self-awareness, empathy, and relationship skills. Cognitive-behavioral approaches challenge narcissists’ distorted thinking patterns. Schema therapy and transference-focused psychotherapy address deeper psychological triggers underlying narcissistic traits.
Medication cannot directly treat NPD but may be used alongside therapy to treat co-occurring issues like anxiety or depression. Couples or family therapy can also help narcissists and their loved ones. Overall, treatment requires motivation and commitment as narcissists often lack insight into their problematic behaviors.
Conclusion
In summary, the main differences between narcissism and narcissists are:
- Narcissism is a personality trait that exists on a continuum. Narcissistic personality disorder is a distinct mental health diagnosis.
- Narcissism involves some excessive self-love and vanity. Narcissistic personality disorder is a pathological condition that deeply impairs relationships.
- Narcissism may just reflect overconfidence or achievement orientation. Narcissistic personality disorder reflects dysfunctional thinking and behaviors that harm the self or others.
- Narcissism has many causes rooted in genetics, culture, parenting, and social learning. NPD results from a complex interaction of biological and psychosocial factors.
- Narcissism can damage relationships, but mild forms may not. Narcissistic personality disorder inevitably disrupts or destroys relationships.
- Treatment for narcissism involves challenging distorted thinking and building self-awareness and skills. Treating NPD requires in-depth therapy but prognosis remains poor.
In short, the depth and pervasiveness of the narcissism distinguishes the pathological personality disorder from the trait. Diagnosis and treatment also differ.