After going on a few dates with someone new, you may start to wonder what happens next and where the relationship is heading. While every situation is different, there are some general things that often occur after 3 dates that can offer insight into the potential future of a new relationship.
You Know If You Have Chemistry
By the time you have been on 3 dates with someone, you likely have a good sense of whether or not you have physical and emotional chemistry together. You’ve had enough in person interactions to assess if you feel comfortable with each other, make each other laugh, have things to talk about, and have mutual interest or sparks. Chemistry is important because it’s what separates a romantic relationship from a platonic friendship. If the chemistry is not there, it’s less likely the relationship will progress past the early dating phase.
You’ve Had The Basic Get To Know You Conversations
In the early stages of dating, a lot of your conversations revolve around getting to know one another. By the third date, you probably know basic information about each other’s jobs, families, where you grew up, colleges you went to, hobbies, and so on. Getting the straightforward factual information out of the way early on is important so you can see how well your backgrounds, interests and values align. If you still feel like there’s more you need to know about one another, that’s a sign you might need or want more dates before advancing the relationship.
You’ve Probably Kissed
Physical intimacy often progresses gradually when you are getting to know someone. A first date may end with a hug or nothing more than a friendly goodbye. By the second or third date, a kiss or makeout session is much more likely to occur if you are both feeling the chemistry. Kissing for the first time can be pivotal in understanding your dynamic and comfortability with each other. Once kissing has happened, you may feel like some of the ice has been broken in terms of physical intimacy, encouraging you to actively consider whether the relationship could become more serious.
You’ve Made Future Plans
If you are interested in continuing to see someone after 3 dates, you are likely to start making plans for the future together, either consciously or unconsciously. This could mean talking about a new restaurant you both want to try, inviting each other to events happening in the coming weeks, or making definitive plans to meet up again soon. Making future plans is a strong indicator that you want to keep seeing where things go with this person. If no future plans are discussed after 3 dates, it may signify a lack of interest or commitment.
You’ve Had The “Ex” Conversation
By now you have probably had the conversation about past relationships and dating history. This is an important part of assessing compatibility and comfortability with one another’s romantic experiences. Knowing details about each other’s exes, relationship patterns, dating styles and lessons from past relationships helps you gain better insight into who the other person is. If you still feel like you don’t know key details about each other’s dating histories, that could be a red flag signaling that you are not yet ready to get serious.
You’ve Introduced Each Other To Friends
It’s common and wise to wait on introducing a new partner to close friends and family. But if you have had 3 successful dates, you may feel ready to let your closest friends meet the person you’ve been seeing. Introducing someone to friends is a clear sign you are interested in them and want to integrate them into your life. It also allows you to see them interact in a social setting and get your friends’ take on your potential new partner. If neither of you have made efforts for your friends to meet each other, it may suggest you are not taking the relationship as seriously.
You’ve Had The “What Are We” Talk
As you progress from casually dating to spending more time together, it is normal to feel unsure about where you stand and where things are heading. After a few dates together, you may feel the need to have an open and honest conversation about what you mean to each other and what you want. Defining the relationship often happens after a month or so of dating, and talking about if you want to be exclusive is especially important around this stage. If you have not had this “what are we” discussion, that is likely something that will need to occur soon to figure out if you are on the same page about the future.
You’ve Opened Up Emotionally
The deeper your emotional connection grows, the more likely you are to open up to one another about more personal topics and intimate details. By 3 dates, you may notice yourself feeling comfortable sharing emotions, insecurities, childhood stories, future goals, and other private feelings with this person. Being open and vulnerable with someone requires trust, signaling you have confidence in the relationship. If you have not built up enough comfortability yet to have more heart-to-heart conversations, that is something your connection may need more time to develop further.
You’ve Noticed Patterns
After seeing someone on multiple dates, patterns in their behaviors, communication style, likes/dislikes and overall personality will emerge. Noticing these patterns can allow you to determine early on if there are any major compatibility issues or red flags. Maybe you realize they are routinely late, only talk about themselves, or seem glued to their phone. These could be signs the relationship will not work long-term. Picking up on negative patterns early on gives you the opportunity to address them or opt to cut your losses and move on.
Your Communication Has Increased
Consistent, open communication is the cornerstone of any strong relationship. After 3 dates, you will likely notice an increase in your communication between dates, whether that is texting throughout the day, longer and more frequent phone calls, or making more of an effort to set up future meetups. More consistent communication signifies mutual interest and a desire to get to know each other better. If your level of contact has not increased much since the first date, it could mean you are not invested in pursuing things further.
You’ve Probably Had Sex
While there are no hard and fast rules about when to start having sex with someone you are dating, many couples end up sleeping together for the first time around the 3 date mark. This timing allows you to establish enough of an emotional connection to feel comfortable taking things to a physical level. Having sex can represent a sense of trust and intimacy you have built with each other. Moving forward with sexual intimacy is also often a sign that you are interested in progressing the relationship. However, sex is not a given by the third date, so do not make assumptions or push someone before they are ready.
You’ve Canceled Other Plans For Each Other
When you are really excited about someone you’ve just started dating, you may find yourself cancelling or postponing plans with friends or blowing off work obligations just so you can spend more time with this new love interest. When you are willing to significantly alter your schedule and routines to accommodate someone else, it shows you are making them a priority and highly value your time together. Making sacrifices like rearranging your social calendar is one of the clearest signs you are invested in building the relationship after just a few dates.
You May Have Trouble Reading Each Other’s Interest Level
Even after a few successful dates, it can still be difficult to know for certain if you are on absolutely the same page about your interest level and the potential future for the relationship. One person may be more infatuated than the other. Mixed signals can occur if you are misinterpreting flirty behaviors, texting habits or eagerness to make plans. One person may be ready to fully commit while the other wants to take it slowly. These early uncertainties are very normal, but signal it is important to have open and honest conversations about where you stand after 3 dates so you are not operating under false assumptions.
You Don’t Necessarily Know Dealbreakers Yet
While 3 dates gives you a chance to learn some key details about each other, truly getting to know someone’s full personality, character, quirks, flaws and serious relationship goals can take time. After just a handful of dates, bigger dealbreakers likely have not been revealed yet or may not have surfaced. Issues like differences in wanting marriage or kids, incompatible religious beliefs or moral values, and other major lifestyle and commitment preferences may not become clear until you have been dating longer. Guarding your heart until you know what type of future is possible is wise during these early dating stages.
The Physical Relationship May Not Be Defined
Even if you have progressed to physical intimacy like kissing or sex by the 3 date mark, it can still be ambiguous where the physical aspect of the relationship stands. Are you exclusive? Monogamous? Just casually dating? The answers to these questions may feel unclear after just 3 dates. A level of uncertainty around the status of your physical relationship is common and to be expected this early on. However, it is wise to check in with each other about expectations and ground rules around physical interactions to prevent hurt feelings.
Meeting Each Other’s Families is Unlikely
While you may have met each other’s friends briefly after a few dates, getting to the point of family introductions and bringing each other home is less common this soon. Meeting the parents is a big step that indicates a relationship is getting very serious. Most couples wait until they have been going out for at least a few months before reaching this milestone. Jumping too soon into family introductions can put a lot of pressure on a relationship that is still just getting off the ground. Proceed gradually and let the timing happen naturally.
The Future Is Still Unclear
Even when things are going well, the future of the relationship is hard to predict after just 3 dates. At this early stage, you are still just starting to get to know each other, gauge compatibility and build a foundation. It is hard to know for sure if you have long-term potential. For many couples, it takes a month or more of dating before they feel fully confident and comfortable defining the relationship and making future plans. Allowing things to progress organically without rushing important milestones is prudent during these delicate early dating stages.
Conclusion
While every relationship moves at its own pace, there are some common developments that tend to happen around the time of the third date that can reveal how well you gel as a potential couple. Assessing your chemistry, having introductory conversations, increasing physical intimacy, communicating more frequently and making future plans are to be expected. However, there is still plenty you likely do not know about each other at this stage. Moving forward thoughtfully, while continuing to get to know each other better, is recommended after 3 dates so you can see if you are truly well-suited for a future together.