Having friends is an important part of childhood development. At what age do kids start needing and benefiting from having friends? Here is a look at when kids start needing friends and why friendships are so important.
When Do Babies Start Interacting Socially?
From a very young age, babies start engaging in social interactions. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), babies can engage in face-to-face interactions within weeks of being born. They may stare at faces and start responding with smiles and cooing sounds. This shows babies have an innate need for social connection and engagement.
As babies grow over the first year, they become more socially expressive. The AAP notes that at around 2-3 months of age, babies start actively responding socially with smiles, laughter, and babbling sounds. At 4-6 months, babies begin recognizing familiar faces and understand facial expressions. They may respond differently to familiar faces compared to strangers.
By 9 months, babies see adults as social partners. They engage in back-and-forth interactions like exchanging sounds and facial expressions. This shows an early understanding of social reciprocity.
Do Babies Have Friends?
While babies engage socially, experts do not consider babies as having real friendships. Friendships involve a mutual, reciprocal relationship between equals. Babies do not have the communication skills or sense of self needed to form real friendships.
However, baby “friendships” can start forming by around 9 months old. The AAP notes babies may start showing preferences for certain children by reaching, touching, and making vocalizations. They also begin engaging in parallel play near other children. So foundations of friendship emerge early on.
When Do Toddlers Start Making Friends?
Toddlerhood is an important time for developing early friendships. According to Zero to Three, children 12-24 months old start learning the basics of friendship. They may mimic peers, show interest in other children by watching them closely, and interact by hugging or holding hands.
By 18-24 months, toddlers start actively engaging in cooperative play. They may hand toys back and forth or participate in simple games with other children. Symbolic play also emerges, with toddlers able to use objects to represent other things in their interactions.
Many toddlers around this age have trouble sharing resources and taking turns. But they are learning the interactive skills needed for later friendships.
Do Toddlers Have Best Friends?
Toddlerhood friendships are fleeting and changeable. But toddlers can still form special bonds and “best friends” at this age. These early best friendships are based on factors like:
- Repeated contact – seeing another child frequently
- Proximity – closeness in age and location
- Similarity – shared characteristics and behaviors
According to Scholastic, toddlers may change who their “best friend” is from day to day. But over weeks or months, they may gravitate repeatedly towards the same child. These friendships help toddlers learn cooperation and give-and-take.
What Age Do Preschoolers Start Making Friends?
By preschool age, usually around 3-4 years old, children become more capable of forming stable friendships. Preschoolers start learning important friendship skills like:
- Cooperating on play activities
- Sharing resources and taking turns
- Showing empathy and concern
- Communicating verbally with peers
- Understanding others’ perspectives
According to Scholastic, the key sign of friendship at this age is whether children continue playing with one another over multiple encounters. Preschoolers may start using the term “friend” and have a sense of friends vs. non-friends. But these friendships are still largely based on proximity and familiarity.
Do Preschoolers Do Better with Friends?
Research suggests having friends benefits preschoolers in various ways, including:
- Language skills – conversing with friends helps build verbal abilities.
- Perspective-taking – interacting with peers builds this cognitive skill.
- Conflict resolution – navigating friend conflicts teaches negotiation.
- Self-regulation – playing cooperatively helps develop this capacity.
One study in the journal Child Development followed preschoolers over 2 years. It found children with more friendships at age 4:
- Were more socially competent at age 6
- Had fewer behavioral problems
- Had stronger language abilities
So preschool friendships can provide meaningful developmental benefits.
What About Shy or Lonely Preschoolers?
While most preschoolers start making friends at this age, some may struggle. According to Zero to Three, some factors that can make it harder for preschoolers to make friends include:
- Shyness or social anxiety
- Developmental delays like autism spectrum disorder
- Spending much time away from peers
- Having controlling parents
- Frequent transitions disrupting bonds
Parents should monitor preschoolers who have trouble making friends or seem lonely or isolated. Speaking with a pediatrician and preschool teacher can help identify any issues to address.
What Age Do Kids Start Making Real Friends?
As children approach 4-5 years old, their friendships start having more depth. The American Academy of Pediatrics notes these key friendship developments around this age:
- Becoming less egocentric – seeing things from friends’ perspectives
- Starting to grasp the concept of friendship itself
- Building an image of being a good friend
- Learning to read social cues from peers
- Having fun with friends beyond just play
Children’s friendships also become less based just on proximity and familiarity. Shared interests, personalities, and values become more important. Their social circles expand as well.
Key Features of Friends at This Age
According to Scholastic, some key features of real friendships that emerge around 4-5 years old include:
- Private jokes and made-up languages
- Understanding how others think and feel
- Seeing friends as individuals
- Showing loyalty to friends
- Handling disagreements and making up
- Feeling happy when playing with friends
So the preschool years are a time of transition to deeper, more meaningful friendships based on personal connections.
Do Elementary School Kids Need Friends?
By elementary school, most kids have developed the ability to form stable, reciprocal friendships based on social bonds. Friendships take on greater significance as children rely more on peers than parents for some types of social and emotional support.
According to research in the Annual Review of Psychology, some ways friendships contribute to children’s development and wellbeing during the elementary school years include:
- Companionship and fun
- Emotional security and self-esteem
- Social status
- Instrumental help with problems
- Intimacy and self-disclosure
- Socialization of values and behaviors
Kids with more friendships tend to:
- Have enhanced social skills
- Be more socially and emotionally adjusted
- Have higher self-worth and lower anxiety
- Do better academically
So friendships are very impactful during the elementary school years.
What About Friendship Issues at This Age?
While most kids make friends during elementary school, some do face challenges like:
- Social anxiety or isolation
- Bullying or peer victimization
- Feeling “left out” of peer groups
- Making friends with negative peer influences
- Cliques and peer pressure
Parents should help children handle any friendship issues at this age. Talking to teachers can provide guidance on peer problems arising at school. Counseling may help some children having difficulty forming friendships or managing social situations.
How Do Friendships Change as Kids Grow Up?
As children reach middle school and high school, their friendships evolve and mature. Some key ways friendships change during the pre-teen and teen years:
- Become based more on shared values and interests
- Separate a bit from family influence
- Provide important identity formation
- Increase in intimacy, sharing, support
- Experience more ups and downs
- Expand friend networks beyond just “best” friends
High quality friendships take on even greater significance during adolescence. Teens lean heavily on friends for:
- Emotional support
- Companionship
- Advice and guidance
- Help navigating adolescence
- Forming identity
- Experimenting with social roles
Teens with positive friendships tend to have higher self-esteem, lower depression, and greater feelings of belonging. High quality teen friendships can last into adulthood.
What About Friendship Challenges in Teens?
Teen friendships can also bring some risks and challenges, including:
- Peer pressure
- Cliques and social exclusion
- Bullying
- Friends who are negative influences
- Competition over social status
- Fighting within friend groups
- Feeling isolated if friendless
Parents should encourage teens to seek help if struggling with friend problems. Counseling can assist with friendship issues or developing social skills.
Conclusion
Friendships become important during toddlerhood and grow increasingly vital as children develop. While needs evolve, friendships provide major benefits across childhood. Kids gain socialization, support, self-esteem, and essential life skills from good friendships. Friendships need monitoring for potential issues. But overall, having friends is a key part of healthy development for children of all ages.