As a new parent, you may wonder whether you should wait for your baby to cry before feeding them or if you should feed them on a schedule. This is a common question many parents face in the early days and weeks of parenthood. There are pros and cons to both approaches, and factors like your baby’s age, weight gain, and cues can help guide your decision.
Quick Summary
Here are some quick answers to common questions about waiting for baby to cry before feeding:
- Newborns generally need to eat every 2-3 hours, so it’s best not to wait for crying in the early weeks.
- Around 3-4 months, healthy babies can go longer between feeds and waiting for signs of hunger is more appropriate.
- Crying is a late sign of hunger, earlier cues are things like rooting, mouthing, and increased alertness.
- Feeding on a schedule can help establish consistency but responding to hunger cues is important too.
- Both scheduled feeds and feeding on demand have pros and cons.
- Finding a balance of responsiveness and routine works for many babies and families.
Should I always feed upon the first signs of hunger?
In the early days and weeks, it’s generally best to feed your baby at the first signs of hunger, rather than waiting until they are crying. Newborns have very small stomachs and need to eat frequently, about every 2-3 hours. Waiting too long can cause them to become overly hungry and frantic.
Early signs of hunger to watch for include:
- Rooting (moving mouth and turning head looking for food)
- Increased alertness
- Bringing hands to mouth
- Sucking motions
Responding early prevents excessive crying and helps ensure baby gets enough milk. This is especially important in newborns for establishing milk supply. Frequent feeding in the early months signals your body to produce more breastmilk.
However, as babies grow around 3-4 months, their stomach capacity increases and they can go longer between feeds. At this point, you may not need to feed at the earliest signs of hunger. Watching for early cues is still useful but allowing some increased wait time before feeding is appropriate.
What are the cons of always waiting for baby to cry before feeding?
Exclusively waiting for crying before feeding has some potential disadvantages:
- Late hunger cues: Crying is a late sign of hunger, meaning baby is very hungry. Earlier feeding may be better.
- Increased crying: Waiting can allow baby to become distraught and inconsolable.
- Growth concerns: Always waiting for hunger cues could risk baby not getting adequate nutrition for growth.
- Excessive hunger: Letting hunger go on too long is uncomfortable and stressful for baby.
- Oversupply concerns: For breastfed babies, consistent delayed feeding can impact milk production.
- Emotional distress: Hunger can cause baby frustration, anger, and other negative emotions.
While allowing some crying is normal, constantly waiting for baby to become very upset is not an ideal approach. Earlier feeding when possible helps avoid these issues.
Are there benefits to feeding on a schedule?
Feeding on a schedule, meaning feeding at set times rather than on demand, does have some potential benefits:
- Predictability: Scheduled feeding times allow parents to plan their day.
- Routine: Schedules help establish consistency from day to day.
- Longer stretches: Setting feeds further apart may help baby sleep for longer periods.
- Measurement: Patterns make it easier to track baby’s intake and growth.
- Preparation: Parents can get bottles or breasts ready in advance of feeding time.
- Convenience: Structured feedings allow parents to coordinate care and responsibilities.
Schedules and routine suit some parents’ preferences and lifestyles. As long as feeding times are adapted to baby’s needs, schedules can work well.
What are the downsides of feeding on a strict schedule?
While structured feeding has some advantages, potential disadvantages include:
- Hunger/growth: Rigid schedules risk baby not getting fed when hungry.
- Oversupply: Schedules can lead to engorged breasts and overproduction of breastmilk.
- Unpredictable: Baby’s needs change and a schedule may not adapt well.
- Stress: Pressure to keep a strict schedule can cause parent anxiety.
- Inflexibility: Schedules mean mom needs to be available at set times to breastfeed.
- Trust: Babies whose hunger cues are ignored may have trouble signaling needs.
While schedules have a purpose, flexibility and responsiveness to baby are still important.
What are signs my baby is hungry?
Watch for these early, middle, and late hunger cues:
Early
- Increased alertness
- Turning head looking for food
- Bringing hands to mouth
- Rooting reflex (mouth opening)
- Increased physical movement
Middle
- Light fussing
- Sucking on fists
- Pushing tongue out
- Chewing/drooling
- Cooing sounds
Late
- Crying
- Agitated body movements
- Turning red
- Pulling ears
- Intense mouthing behaviors
Try to feed baby before the late stage cues to prevent escalation to crying and frustration. But learning the difference between “hungry” and “non-hungry” cries also helps over time.
How often should newborns eat?
In the early weeks, newborns need to eat about every 2-3 hours, ideally 8-12 times in 24 hours. Very frequent feeding helps establish milk supply and ensures baby gets adequate calories for growth since their stomachs are small.
Newborns should not go longer than about 3 hours without eating. Allowing baby to sleep too long between feeds or waiting for crying can mean not eating often enough.
Watch baby’s cues, count wet diapers, and monitor weight gain to see if feeding frequency is adequate. If in doubt, wake baby to eat every 2-3 hours until feeding is well-established.
When can I let a baby go longer between feeds?
Around 3-4 months of age, babies’ stomach capacity increases and they become more efficient at feeding. This allows going a bit longer, like 4-5 hours, between feeds.
Signs baby is ready for fewer feeds:
- Taking in more volume per feed
- Sleeping for longer stretches at night
- Showing interest and ability to eat solid foods
- Doubling birth weight and continuing to gain well
Letting an older baby go 4 hours between feeds during the day is fine if they seem satisfied and are growing appropriately. But responsive feeding based on cues is still encouraged.
At what age can I switch to feeding on a schedule?
Most experts recommend following baby’s hunger cues for feeding in at least the first 3-4 months. After this age, if baby is gaining well, it may be possible to transition to more of a structured feeding schedule.
Here are some signs baby is ready for a feeding schedule:
- Able to go 3-4 hours between feeds comfortably
- Has distinct hungry and non-hungry cries
- Can go through the night (like 7-8 hours) without eating
- Eating and sleeping more predictably
- Starting solid foods and appropriate weight gain
Around 4-6 months, if the above signs are present, you can experiment with feeding more “by the clock.” But still be flexible – schedules don’t work for all babies.
What are the risks of underfeeding a newborn?
Underfeeding a newborn by missing feeds or waiting too long between them can risk:
- Poor weight gain and failure to thrive
- Dehydration
- Extreme hunger, crying, and frustration
- Diminished milk supply in breastfeeding mothers
- Inadequate calories for growth and development
- Increased risk of jaundice
Feeding baby too infrequently or not responding when hungry deprives them of nutrition during a crucial growth period. Watch for early hunger cues and offer both breasts or several ounces regularly.
How do I know if baby is eating enough?
Signs your baby is getting sufficient milk/nutrition:
- 6-8 wet diapers and 3-4 stools daily in early months
- Adequate weight gain and growth
- Contentment after feeding
- Good sleep between feeds
- Reaches developmental milestones
- Alert and active when awake
Discuss any concerns about intake with your pediatrician and monitor feeding frequency and volume, diapers, and weight gain.
What if my baby won’t stop crying and feeding doesn’t help?
If your baby continues crying despite frequent feeding, possible reasons include:
- Gas, reflux, or colic causing discomfort
- Needing a diaper change
- Overtired and needing sleep
- Overstimulation or too much activity
- Illness like an ear infection
- Teething pain
- General fussiness or period of high needs
Try remedies like burping, gas drops, motion, white noise, swaddling, and pacifiers. Check for fever or illness. Contact doctor if crying is excessive or concerning.
How can I make feeding on demand work better?
Tips to succeed with feeding on demand:
- Track hunger cues and patterns
- Offer both breasts per feeding for breastfed babies
- Allow pauses during feeding; baby may want to comfort feed
- Have quick-access snacks and one-handed foods for mom
- Accept frequency of feeding and night wakings
- Nap when baby naps
- Share duties with partner to allow rest
- Use a feeding log to identify needs and growth
- Have reasonable exceptions like allowing longer nighttime sleep
Responsive feeding can work with some flexibility, preparation, and awareness of patterns. Get support if feeling overwhelmed.
How can I make feeding on a schedule work better?
Making a feeding schedule work well:
- Adapt schedule to baby’s needs and hunger cues
- Ensure schedule allows adequate feeding frequency for age
- Adjust amount fed to match baby’s intake needs
- Be flexible – baby may need more or less at times
- Watch weight gain and diapers to ensure adequacy
- Have a consistent designated feeder for reliability
- Offer both sides for breastfed babies
- Complement breastfeeding with pumping for flexibility
- Watch hunger cues in case schedule needs tweaking
The key is being responsive on a schedule. Add extra feeds if needed and adjust timing based on baby.
Conclusion
In summary, during the newborn period it’s best to feed very frequently and avoid waiting for baby to cry due to hunger. By 3-4 months, babies can handle a bit more time between feeds as long as hunger signals are heeded.
Feeding on demand or a schedule both have pros and cons. You may choose to do a mix based on your preferences and baby’s needs. The key is responsiveness – watch baby closely, adapt to their hunger cues, and ensure adequate intake for healthy growth.