Is it too late to sleep train a 6 year old?

Sleep training a 6 year old can seem daunting, but it’s not impossible. With consistency and patience, many kids this age can learn to self-soothe and fall asleep independently. The key is using an age-appropriate method that gets your child the sleep they need while respecting their development and needs.

Quick Answers

Here are some quick answers to common questions about sleep training a 6 year old:

  • It’s never too late to help a child learn to self-soothe and sleep independently. While early sleep training has benefits, children at any age can learn new sleep skills.
  • Sleep training methods like graduated extinction (Ferber) and fading are gentler approaches appropriate for this age. Strict cry it out is not recommended.
  • Consistency with the sleep training method is key. Be prepared for an extinction burst of increased crying before behavior improves.
  • Developmental changes like anxiety about separation or fear of the dark should be addressed as part of sleep training at this age.
  • Allowing some night wakings for water, bathroom, or comfort is appropriate at this age. The goal is teaching self-soothing, not eliminating all night wakings.

Is it Too Late to Sleep Train a 6 Year Old?

While sleep training may be most effective in the first 6 months of a child’s life, it is almost never “too late” to help a child learn to self-soothe and sleep independently. Sleep skills must be learned and reinforced over time. Even children and adults can develop disruptive sleep associations and habits!

Around 6 years old, most kids are neurologically and emotionally ready to learn the skills to self-soothe and fall asleep solo. However, every child is unique. If your child has anxiety, sensory issues, or developmental delays, you may need to adjust your approach or seek the advice of your pediatrician or a sleep consultant.

Why Sleep Training is Harder After 6 Years Old

There are a few reasons sleep training tends to get more difficult as kids get older:

  • Habit Formation – By age 6, a child has likely already formed sleep habits and associations that will be challenging to break.
  • Greater Nighttime Awareness – Older children are more aware of surroundings, separation anxiety, scary dreams etc. making self-soothing harder.
  • Verbalization Skills – A 6 year old can protest and negotiate bedtime rules more than a younger child.
  • Bedtime Routines – Kids this age often have complex bedtime routines involving baths, stories, songs, drinks etc. Changing routines can lead to resistance.
  • Reinforcement – Parents may have already unintentionally reinforced sleep crutches by allowing them for years.

For these reasons, sleep training will likely take longer with a 6 year old than an infant. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be done!

Setting Realistic Expectations

At 6 years old, your child likely won’t take to sleep training the same way a baby does. Experts recommend adjusting your expectations around the following:

  • You are unlikely to achieve sleeping through the night consistently. Developmentally appropriate night wakings will likely continue.
  • Do not expect to eliminate all crying and protests. Mild fussing during the settling process is normal at this age.
  • Consistency is key but the process may be slow. Progress happens in small increments over weeks/months.
  • Your child may still need some parental help with regulating emotions, fears, etc. around bedtime.
  • A 6 year old is too old for you to completely control the sleep environment. Involve your child in making changes.

The goal should be teaching your 6 year old to self-soothe and implement sleep skills independently. Not necessarily achieving a “perfectly sleeping” child or eliminating all night wakings.

Choosing an Age-Appropriate Sleep Training Method

While there are many sleep training approaches, some are not suitable for a 6 year old child. Here are some dos and don’ts for choosing a sleep training method at this age:

Methods to Avoid

  • Cry It Out – Leaving a child to cry indefinitely with no parental checks is problematic at this age and often ineffective. Most pediatricians do not recommend unaltered cry it out for children over 6 months old.
  • Night Weaning Cold Turkey – Completely eliminating night feedings without gradually tapering is not appropriate for a child old enough to understand hunger. Gradual weaning is better.
  • “Extinction” of all Comforting – Expecting a 6 year old to self-soothe without any external regulation or comfort is unrealistic.

Gentler Methods to Consider

  • Graduated Extinction – Systematically increasing wait time between comfort checks helps teach self-soothing without abandonment.
  • Positive Routines – Using rewards, sticker charts, bedtime passes etc. can motivate older children to comply with sleep goals.
  • Schedule Adjustments – Shifting bedtime earlier and waking time earlier helps with sleep pressure. Requires consistency.
  • Fading – Gradually reducing parent presence and support from 100% to 0% over time.

Any sleep training at this age should involve: parental support, addressing emotional/behavioral causes of resistance, respecting developmental needs, and proceeding gradually. Drastic measures or punitive approaches are counterproductive.

How to Sleep Train a 6 Year Old in 5 Steps

Here is a step-by-step guide to sleep training a 6 year old:

Step 1: Set Goals and Expectations

Be clear and realistic about what you want to achieve. Self-soothing and independent sleep onset are reasonable goals. Perfect sleep and zero night wakings may not be achievable. Involve your child in setting goals and talk about how proper sleep helps them.

Step 2: Identify Current Sleep Problems

Track your child’s sleep for a week to identify issues like:

  • Bedtime resistance
  • Night wakings
  • Early rising
  • Difficulty self-soothing
  • Disruptive bedtime routine
  • Sleep environment problems

Knowing where the problems lie will help target your sleep training efforts.

Step 3: Create a Sleep-Promoting Environment

Optimize the sleep environment based on your child’s needs and challenges like:

  • Use a comfort object for self-soothing
  • Play white noise to block disruptive sounds
  • Use a nightlight or hall light for fear of the dark
  • Ensure the room temperature is comfortable
  • Use blackout curtains if early rising is an issue
  • Make sure the mattress, pillows and bedding are comfortable

Step 4: Implement an Age-Appropriate Sleep Training Method

Consistently apply your chosen sleep training method, such as:

  • Graduated Extinction: Put your child to bed awake and reassure them at increasing intervals if they protest or cry.
  • Positive Routines: Use rewards, consequences and motivation tools to reinforce sleep-promoting habits.
  • Fading: Gradually withdraw your presence and support over time to facilitate self-soothing.

Be patient, flexible and attentive to your child’s needs. Adjust the approach if needed.

Step 5: Troubleshoot as Needed

If you hit roadblocks like:

  • Bedtime resistance flares up
  • Child is scared or anxious about being alone
  • Sleep problems recur after initial success

Consider changes like:

  • Scheduling daily bonding time to ease separation anxiety
  • Adding social stories about sleep skills
  • Engaging in guided relaxation practices
  • Allowing transitional objects or nightlights
  • Adjusting timing of naps/bedtime
  • Ruling out underlying physical or mental health issues

Stay consistent, be supportive, stick to the plan, and celebrate small wins along the way.

Common Questions About Sleep Training a 6 Year Old

Is it ok for my 6 year old to sleep with me?

Many families choose to have young children sleep with them for bonding, security, or convenience. However, by age 6, most kids benefit physically and emotionally from transitioning to independent sleep in their own bed. Sleep training can help facilitate this transition in a gentle, gradual way if co-sleeping has become too disruptive.

How much sleep does a 6 year old need?

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, children 6-12 years old need 9-12 hours of sleep per night. Most 6 year olds do best with 10-11 hours nightly.

What if my 6 year old gets up at night?

It’s developmentally normal for a 6 year old to occasionally wake at night to use the bathroom, get a drink, or seek brief comfort from parents after a bad dream. Allowing this within limits is appropriate. The goal should be teaching self-soothing back to sleep, not rigidly eliminating all night wakings which may not be realistic at this age.

How long does sleep training take for a 6 year old?

Experts recommend allowing at least 2-3 weeks of consistency with a single sleep training method to allow enough time for a 6 year old to adjust their habits and behavior. Some children respond quickly within days, while others may take a month or more to show progress. Have patience and be consistent.

Sleep Training Success Tips for Age 6

Here are some expert tips for achieving sleep training success with your 6 year old:

  • Involve your child in making a sleep schedule, rules and sleep environment changes – don’t impose them.
  • Offer reassurances about safety, returning in the morning, how sleep helps them grow, etc.
  • Integrate sleep stories like The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers into bedtime routine.
  • Avoid sleep crutches altogether rather than trying to remove them abruptly.
  • Make small, gradual changes over time instead of sudden drastic shifts.
  • Allow time to unwind by keeping bedtime 15+ minutes after end of stimulating activities.
  • Rule out pain, illness or other issues like night terrors that could be impacting sleep.
  • See a sleep consultant or doctor if disruptive sleep persists for months of consistency with sleep training.

The Impact of Sleep Training a 6 Year Old

Successfully sleep training your 6 year old can have profound benefits for your child, you, and the whole family. These include:

  • Better sleep = better physical and mental health for your child
  • Life skills like independence, self-regulation and responsibility
  • Reduced bedtime struggles and power struggles
  • Less caregiver exhaustion from frequent night wakings
  • Modeling healthy sleep habits for your child’s future
  • More mutual trust from setting boundaries in a loving way
  • Improved concentration, learning and mood regulation for your child
  • Healthy sleep habits ingrained for the future

While short term investment of time and effort is required, the long term payoff of a well-rested, healthy child is enormous.

Conclusion

Sleep training a 6 year old takes diligence, empathy and patience. But it is possible to help your child learn to self-soothe and sleep independently without harsh measures. Have realistic expectations, choose a gentle progressive method, troubleshoot bumps, and remain lovingly consistent. With time, your child can gain the gift of healthy solo sleep for a lifetime.

Leave a Comment