Hugging is an act of showing affection that involves wrapping arms around another person. Hugs are known to make us feel good by lowering stress and anxiety. But how many hugs do we actually need each day to benefit our emotional health? Let’s explore this question and look at the science behind hugging.
How Many Hugs Do We Typically Get Each Day?
There is no definitive number of hugs that all people need each day. However, some research provides estimates for how many hugs the average person currently receives:
- In 1986, psychologist Virginia Satir stated that people need 4 hugs per day to survive, 8 hugs for maintenance, and 12 hugs to thrive.
- Psychotherapist David Schechter estimates in his book 10 Hugs a Day: Overcoming the Under-Appreciation Epidemic that the average American gets 2 to 4 hugs per day.
- A University of North Carolina study in 2007 found that the average couple hugs around 7 times per day.
- A Chapman University survey in 2017 found that around 60% of Americans say they receive at least one hug per day on average.
Based on these surveys, it seems the average American adult gets somewhere between 1 to 7 hugs daily. However, it also appears many people would benefit from more hugs than they currently get.
The Physical and Mental Benefits of Hugging
Why do hugs make us feel so good? There are scientific reasons hugging provides both physical and psychological benefits:
Physical Benefits
- Stimulation of oxytocin – Oxytocin is a hormone released in the brain that plays a role in social bonding, reproduction, childbirth, and more. Hugs stimulate the release of oxytocin.
- Lowered blood pressure – The skin-to-skin contact from hugging can lower blood pressure by decreasing stress hormones.
- Improved immune function – Oxytocin released by hugging can boost the immune system to help fight infections and illness.
- Pain relief – The oxytocin released from hugging also provides pain-reducing and anti-inflammatory effects.
- Balanced heartbeat – The relaxing effect hugs provide lowers heart rates and regulates heart rhythm.
Mental Benefits
- Reduced stress – The release of oxytocin can lower the level of the stress hormone cortisol to provide a calming effect.
- Decreased anxiety – By reducing stress, hugs help ease anxiety levels.
- Increased happiness – The oxytocin and dopamine released by hugs enhance mood and promote happiness.
- Improved self-esteem – The affection and acceptance shown through hugs boosts self-esteem.
- Increased empathy – Oxytocin promotes understanding of others’ feelings and greater empathy.
As demonstrated, hugs have far-reaching physical and psychological benefits. But exactly how many hugs do we need per day to experience these benefits?
How Many Hugs Do Experts Recommend Per Day?
There is no universally agreed upon “prescribed dose” for how many hugs you need each day. However, experts provide general recommendations:
- 4 hugs per day – Psychotherapist Virginia Satir often recommended 4 hugs per day for survival, 8 for maintenance, and 12 for growth. Four seems the minimum for most people.
- 5-10 hugs per day – Self-help author Leo Buscaglia recommended at least 4 to 5 hugs per day, up to 10-12 if you feel stressed.
- 8 hugs per day – Author Elisabeth Tova Bailey wrote in “The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating” that eight hugs per day are needed based on studies on monkeys.
- 10 hugs per day – Psychotherapist David Schechter recommends aiming for 10 hugs per day for optimal emotional health in his book “10 Hugs a Day.”
The consensus among most experts is that aiming for around 4 to 10 hugs per day is ideal for adults. The exact number that’s right for you may vary based on factors like your age, relationship status, and personal preferences.
How Many Hugs Do Children Need?
Children need even more frequent hugs than adults to support their growth and development. Recommendations for hugs per day for children include:
- Infants – At least 14 hugs per day for newborns and infants.
- Toddlers – Around 12 daily hugs for 1-2 year olds.
- Young children – 6-8 hugs per day for ages 3-7.
- Older children – 4-5 hugs daily for ages 8-12.
- Teenagers – At least 1 hug per day for teens.
Young children especially thrive on physical touch and emotional connection from hugs. Hugging them frequently reassures them and contributes to their emotional and cognitive growth.
Factors That Influence How Many Hugs You Need
While experts provide general recommendations, the ideal hugging frequency differs based on individual factors like:
Your Age
Babies and children need more frequent hugs – at least 6-14 per day – to support growth and development. Older adults also benefit from more hugs – around 4-6 daily – to combat isolation and loneliness.
Your Culture
Some cultures, like those in Latin America and the Mediterranean, embrace more physical touch and hugs as part of social norms. Northern European and Asian cultures tend to have less physical touch between non-relatives.
Your Relationships
People in romantic relationships or with close family usually get more hugs than single people. Quality is also key – hugs from loved ones have more emotional impact.
Your Stress Level
Stressed individuals need more hugs to curb anxiety and boost oxytocin. Aim for the higher end of recommendations if feeling high stress.
Your Health
People with compromised immune systems or conditions involving skin sensitivities may need to limit hugs cautiously. Those with depression can benefit from more hugs.
Your Interest in Physical Touch
Some people are naturally more comfortable with hugging and physical touch than others based on personality. Respect your own preferences.
Consider your unique situation and individual needs when determining if you need more or less hugs than average per day.
Tips for Getting More Hugs Each Day
For those wanting to get more hugs, here are some tips:
- Give more hugs – offer hugs to loved ones when greeting them or saying goodbye.
- Ask for hugs directly – clearly state if you need a hug from friends or family.
- Cuddle pets – hugging dogs, cats, etc provides oxytocin too.
- Spend time with affectionate people – surround yourself with naturally physically expressive friends.
- Set hugging reminders – place sticky note reminders to hug loved ones on your mirror or phone.
- Practice warm greetings – adopt the culturally affectionate custom of hugging all guests.
- Use cliches – say things like “I’m a hugger!” to encourage embraces.
- Try hug meditation – meditate with a partner while hugging.
- Join a cuddle party – attend events where non-sexual cuddling and hugs are promoted.
Simple efforts like smiling more, being kind, and asking for hugs can help you get more embraces each day.
Is It Possible to Get Too Many Hugs?
While hugs are beneficial, can you get too many? There are a few scenarios where too many hugs can be harmful:
- Touch aversion – Some people have an aversion to touch or physical intimacy due to conditions like autism or past trauma.
- Boundaries – Hugging someone against their consent or when unwanted violates personal boundaries.
- Illness – Hugging excessively could risk spreading contagious illnesses like colds or flu.
- Injuries – Hugging or cuddling too forcefully could aggravate injuries or medical conditions.
- Time constraints – Too much hugging takes time away from other important tasks and responsibilities.
While unusual, it is possible in certain circumstances to experience too many hugs. Ensure any hugs given or received are consented to and respect boundaries.
How to Hug More Effectively
To get the most benefits from hugging, experts suggest:
Make It a Quality Embrace
Don’t just briefly hug – linger for at least 5 seconds while taking deep breaths to maximize calming effects.
Rub the Back
Gently rub up and down the person’s back during the hug to further soothe and relax them.
Avoid Surprise Hugs
Surprise hugs can startle people. Announce your intention (“I’m going to hug you now”) before moving in for a consensual embrace.
Use a Soft Touch
Lightly wrap arms around the person and avoid squeezing too tightly. Touch gently to make it pleasant.
Smile and Make Eye Contact
Smiling and making eye contact while hugging makes it feel warmer and more emotionally connecting.
Whisper Supportive Words
Quietly whispering kind words like “I love you” can make a hug more meaningful.
Simple tweaks to your hugging technique can help maximize the positive impacts.
Hugging and COVID-19 Safety
The COVID-19 pandemic has made hugging more complicated. To hug as safely as possible:
- Avoid hugging anyone outside your household or close contacts.
- Only hug people who have tested negative for COVID recently.
- Wear masks and avoid face-to-face hugging.
- Opt for side hugs or back pats instead of full embraces.
- Wash hands before and after hugging anyone.
- Get vaccinated to lower risk when hugging.
Use common sense about what level of hugging is safe in your area based on local transmission rates and individual risk factors.
Alternatives to Hugging During the Pandemic
If hugging in-person isn’t possible or seems risky, some alternatives to get your “hug fix” include:
- Virtual hugs via video chat
- Emoji hugs in text messages
- Watching cute videos of hugging animals
- Cuddling or hugging pets
- Wrapping arms around yourself in a “self-hug”
- Using weighted blankets for comfort
- Imagining a hug and noticing how it feels
- Affectionate fist or elbow bumps when greeting others
Staying socially connected virtually, cuddling pets, and finding other creative substitutes can help until safe hugging is possible again.
The Bottom Line
While there is no definitive threshold, research suggests most adults benefit from 4-10 hugs per day for optimal health and emotional well-being. Individual factors like age, culture, and existing relationships impact ideal hugging frequency. With some creativity and care, it is possible to safely get more hugs in your life – even during a pandemic. Hugs have immense benefits, so incorporate consensual hugging into your daily routine as much as is comfortable.
