Breaking a habit that has been ingrained over many years or a lifetime can be extremely challenging. Habits become automatic over time through consistent repetition. The more often a behavior is repeated, the more deeply embedded in the brain’s neural pathways it becomes. This makes habits very difficult to break. However, it is possible to break even lifelong habits with concerted effort over an extended period of time.
What are habits?
Habits are behaviors or thought patterns that are repeated frequently and tend to occur automatically, without conscious thought. They form neurological pathways in the brain that make the habit easy to repeat without deliberation. This automaticity makes habits convenient and efficient, as they allow us to get ready for work, drive a car, or perform other routine behaviors without having to think much about them.
However, it also makes habits resistant to change. Even habits that are unhealthy or unhelpful tend to persist due to the strong neural pathways supporting them. Examples of bad habits people often struggle to break include smoking, nail biting, excessive drinking, overeating, procrastination, and more.
How are habits formed?
Habits form through a three-step loop known as the habit loop. This involves:
The Cue
This is a trigger for the habitual behavior. It can be an event, time of day, location, emotion, or other contextual stimuli. Examples include finishing dinner, feeling stressed, seeing a cigarette, etc.
The Routine
This is the actual habitual behavior that is performed automatically in response to the cue. Lighting a cigarette, biting nails, grabbing a snack, etc.
The Reward
This is the payoff from performing the routine behavior. It can be physiological (nicotine hit), psychological (relief from stress), or another form of gratification that reinforces the habit.
Performing this habit loop repeatedly strengthens the neural pathway supporting it. The habit becomes more engrained and automatic with each repetition. This makes changing or stopping the habitual behavior increasingly difficult over time.
Why are habits so hard to break?
There are several key reasons lifelong habits can be extremely resistant to change:
Automaticity
As previously mentioned, habits form strong neural pathways that make them automatic and unconsciously driven. Even when you consciously want to stop a habit, the unconscious parts of your brain activate the habitual behavior on autopilot. This makes habits very tough to control through willpower alone.
Craving and reward
Habits release dopamine and other neurotransmitters that create a neurological reward. Your brain literally craves performing the habitual behavior. Breaking the habit removes this neurochemical reward, resulting in feelings of anxiety, agitation, or loss.
Lack of awareness
Since habits operate automatically, you often perform them with very little conscious awareness. It’s easy to underestimate how frequently and extensively a habit impacts your daily life. Becoming more mindful of habitual behaviors is key to changing them.
Old cues and routines
Lifelong habits get associated with numerous contextual cues and well-entrenched routine behaviors. Exposure to the many cues you’ve associated with a habit over the years will continually trigger the routine response. Similarly, all the habitual behaviors you perform automatically will keep pulling you into the habit loop.
Stress and willpower depletion
Habits often emerge or strengthen during stress, offering comfort or relief. Stress also depletes willpower, making habits harder to resist in the moment. This tendency can undermine efforts to break habits.
How long does it take to break a habit?
There is no definitive answer, as the timeline for breaking a lifelong habit depends on many factors. However, research provides some estimates:
– It typically takes at least two months of consistent effort before a new behavior replaces an entrenched habit.
– After abstaining from a bad habit for one year, the neurological reward response (craving) is greatly diminished.
– It often takes anywhere from 18 to 254 days for a new habit to become automatic. The more complex the habit, the longer it takes.
– Certain research found daily habits may take an average of 66 days to break, while more ingrained habits could take five months or longer.
– One study showed people grossly underestimate how long it takes to break habits, guessing they could form a new habit in just 30 days.
– Relapse and setbacks are common when trying to break lifelong habits. You may have to make multiple attempts over longer time periods before successfully quitting.
So in summary, expect breaking deeply entrenched habits to take at least 2 to 6 months of daily commitment and effort. The longer and more automatic the habit has become, the harder it will be to break. Be patient and persistent.
What techniques help break lifelong habits?
Here are some proven techniques and strategies to help end ingrained habits:
Raise awareness
Monitor your habitual behaviors closely to understand their frequency, triggers, and reward value. This boosts mindfulness, helping you recognize and alter habitual responses.
Avoid triggers
Stay away from people, places, and situations associated with your habit to prevent cueing the habitual response. This might mean avoiding bars if quitting drinking or tossing your cigarettes if quitting smoking.
Replace the routine
Substitute a positive habit or behavior in place of the unwanted routine. For example, go for a walk instead of smoking a cigarette or chat with a friend rather than biting your nails.
Remove rewards
Get rid of anything that reinforces the bad habit, like junk food in the house or cigarettes in your bag. This eliminates temptations and rewarding payoffs.
Use implementation intentions
Create “if-then” plans for what you will do differently when your habitual cue arises. This provides a pre-set plan to override the automatic habit loop.
Go “cold turkey”
Quitting a habit completely rather than gradually can boost success for some people. It helps break the habitual cycle more decisively.
Use habit trackers
Apps, journals, or calendars help track progress resisting a habit and sticking to a new routine. Visible tracking holds you accountable.
Find accountability partners
Share your habit-change goals with supportive friends or family. Ask them to check your progress and cheer you on. Social support improves success.
Notice failure mindfully
If you relapse into a habit, don’t beat yourself up. Notice non-judgmentally what triggered it, then calmly resume your new behavior routine. Progress isn’t linear.
Reward new behaviors
Positive reinforcement for new routines and accomplishments boosts motivation and wires in alternatives to the old habit loop.
Address root causes
Explore what need the habit originally served, like relieving stress. Try meeting those needs through healthier means to reduce urge to slip back.
Case studies on breaking lifelong habits
Let’s look at some real-life examples of people breaking long-term habits:
Quitting smoking after 32 years
John started smoking at age 16 and continued a pack per day for 32 years. He tried quitting a few times with no success. At age 48, his doctor warned him about lung damage and heart disease risks, providing the push John needed.
He told family and friends about quitting and got their support. John removed all cigarettes and lighters from his home, office, and car. For two months, he chose healthy snacks over smoking when cravings hit. Deep breathing techniques and walks also provided distraction. It was very challenging, but after three months tobacco free, the worst cravings subsided. A year later, John hardly notices the urge to smoke anymore.
Breaking a nail biting habit of 40 years
Maria started biting her nails as a child. By age 50, the habit was deeply ingrained after four decades. She decided she wanted nicer looking nails as she aged. Maria painted her nails with foul tasting polish whenever she caught herself biting. Keeping a journal to record progress helped her stay accountable.
She also carried a fidget spinner for distraction when the urge to bite hit. After three and a half months, Maria broke a lifelong nail biting habit that no longer served her self-image.
Ending a 20-year junk food habit
Josh ate fast food, candy, soda, and other junk foods daily since he was a teen. Now 38, he had gained a lot of weight and gotten warnings from his doctor about diabetes risk. Josh first worked on drinking more water and walking daily to improve energy. After a month, he no longer craved soda. He replaced candy with fruits and vegetables.
Josh gradually removed junk foods from his home to reduce temptation. Learning to cook healthy meals took effort, but soon felt normal. It took about five months before Josh entirely lost interest in the junk food habit. Regular exercise also helped control his cravings.
Challenges and tips for breaking different types of habits
Certain categories of habits face some unique challenges and may benefit from tailored techniques:
Addiction habits
Habits like smoking, excessive drinking, or illegal drug use activate the brain’s addiction pathways. They often require professional support, rehabilitation programs, and/or medications to overcome. Doing it alone is extremely difficult due to severe withdrawal symptoms and high relapse rates. Enlisting help is key.
Emotional coping habits
Habits used to self-soothe anxiety or other distress, like overeating, skin picking, or other compulsive behaviors can be very tough to break. Getting to root causes through counseling helps manage emotional triggers behind the habitual response.
Social habits
Habits used largely in a social context make the peer group an obstacle. To quit smoking, drinking with friends, or other social habits, you may need to avoid those enabling social circles, at least initially. Finding support in recovery-oriented groups helps.
Physical habits
Habits like nail biting, hair twirling, teeth grinding, or nervous tics involve physical outlets that may increase with stress. Using alternate physical fidget items, managing stress, and being mindful when urges arise can help retrain physical habits.
Digital habits
Tech habits like constant scrolling or checking devices tap into variable reward loops that can be addicting. Turning off notifications, deleting apps, setting screen time limits, and finding new hobbies reduces reliance on devices and social media engagement over time.
How to prevent falling back into old habits
The following tips can help avoid sliding back into lifelong habits you’ve worked hard to break:
– Stay vigilant about avoiding tempting environments or triggers, even long after quitting the habit.
– Keep using any replacement habits and routines you’ve established so the new pathways stay strong.
– Periodically review your reasons for quitting, to renew your motivation and commitment.
– If you slip up occasionally, get back on track right away rather than spiraling. Don’t see it as failure.
– Focus on how much progress you’ve made changing your habit patterns, not occasional lapses.
– Learn from any relapses by exploring what caused them and adjusting your strategies.
– Ask supportive friends and partners to help keep you accountable if you start slipping.
– Notice and document how much better you feel without your old habit to remind you why staying free of it matters.
– Always have a plan for coping with stressors or triggers without falling back on the familiar habit.
– Maintain other positive lifestyle habits, like eating well, exercising, and good sleep to boost willpower reserves.
– Keep your environment free of any temptation related to your habit, so it’s easier to choose new behaviors.
Conclusion
Breaking deeply ingrained lifelong habits is certainly achievable. But changing entrenched neurological patterns requires time, diligence, and persistence. Arm yourself with proven strategies, social support, and self-compassion. Focus less on perfect abstinence and more on progress. Even small gains ultimately lead to replacing lifelong automatic behaviors with more positive habits aligned with your goals and values.