Dogs form extremely close bonds with their human families. As social pack animals, dogs have evolved to crave companionship, comfort, and physical contact. This means that most dogs love to snuggle up with their favorite people at bedtime. But when there are multiple family members vying for cuddle time, how does a dog decide where to sleep? Here are some of the main factors that influence a dog’s sleeping arrangements.
Bonding and Attachment
Like human children, dogs often develop a primary attachment to one person in the household. This is the human that the dog feels most bonded with and sees as their protector and provider. The primary attachment figure is usually the person who feeds, grooms, trains, and spends the most one-on-one time with the dog. Sleeping with this special person helps strengthen the attachment bond.
Research shows that dogs display social preference for their primary attachment figure. In experiments where the dog’s caregiver and a stranger call them simultaneously from across a room, dogs consistently go to the caregiver first. Dogs are also more likely to seek comfort from their attachment figure when frightened or stressed.
Since sleeping together requires trust and leads to the release of oxytocin, the “love hormone,” regularly sharing a bed strengthens the dog-human bond. So at bedtime, dogs are likely to seek out the companion that they feel closest to and most secure with.
Resource Provider
Along with emotional attachment, dogs may choose to sleep with the family member who provides the most resources like food, walks, playtime, and attention. Since dogs are still somewhat reliant on humans for their basic needs, they form alliances with the “leader of the pack” who gives them access to valuable assets.
Researchers have found that dogs gaze longer at the person who feeds them and are more obedient when that person asks them to complete a task. Sleeping with the primary resource provider may be a survival instinct to stay close to the food source and maintain access to resources.
Softness and Warmth
Dogs also prefer to sleep in soft, warm, and comfortable spaces. This harkens back to their den-dwelling ancestors who slept in sheltered burrows and caves. Dogs seem to judge the quality of a sleeping space largely based on softness, warmth, and familiarity of a location.
Since human beds are usually softer and warmer than a hard floor or dog bed, snuggling up under the covers with an owner is very appealing. And dogs may perceive the scent and familiarity of a particular owner’s bed as a cue that it is a safe, comfortable space.
Needy Dogs
Certain dogs are simply more velcro or needy when it comes to contact and companionship. Breeds like labradors, greyhounds, pit bulls, and maltese tend to be very attached and bond intensely with their person. They feel most secure when kept close, especially at night.
Additionally, dogs who have experienced abandonment or change of ownership may become especially clingy and anxious about being separated from new owners. These dogs benefit emotionally from sleeping beside their person every night.
Senior Dogs
Older dogs often start to exhibit a stronger desire to sleep with one owner at night. This may be due to pains or aches and discomfort associated with aging joints, muscles, and bones. The warmth and cushioning of a human bed and body can help soothe senior dogs’ discomfort when sleeping.
Additionally, senior dogs are more prone to cognitive decline and confusion. Having the familiar company of an owner in bed can help senior dogs feel more secure and oriented at night when their mental faculties are not as sharp.
Who Lets the Dog into Bed
If one owner consistently allows or invites the dog into bed while another owner typically shuts the dog out of the bedroom, the dog will learn to prefer sleeping with the owner who permits access. Dogs are quite smart about remembering which locations they are allowed into and which they are forbidden from.
Dogs may sit staring wistfully at a closed bedroom door waiting for their favorite owner to invite them in. Meanwhile they’ve learned not to even bother asking the owner who shuts them out. So the human who imposes the fewest restrictions will likely become the dog’s sleeping companion.
Work Schedules and Activity
Human activity patterns and work schedules influence when a dog has access to each owner for daytime playing, training, walking, and bonding. For example, a stay-at-home owner who is home with the dog all day will likely become the dog’s closest companion.
Meanwhile, a dog may see a working owner who is gone for 8-10 hours daily only during mornings and evenings. The dog will have less waking time to build a relationship with this owner, and so is more likely to sleep with the owner who spends more active hours together.
Gender Preferences
Some studies indicate dogs may prefer to sleep with female owners over male owners. This may relate to perceptions of softness, comfort, and warmth associated with women. Female owners are also more likely to invite dogs into bed for cuddling.
However, individual personality differences are also a big factor. Male owners who actively bond with and train a dog can become just as much a preferred sleeping companion over a female owner who plays less of a role in the dog’s daily life.
Fearful Dogs
Timid, anxious, or fearful dogs often have a stronger desire to sleep in bed with a trusted owner where they feel safest. The presence of a familiar human helps shy dogs feel more secure in an environment that otherwise feels frightening when alone.
Also, traumatic past experiences like abuse or time spent in shelters could contribute to a fearful dog clinging to a new loving owner most intensely at night. Continued access to sleep beside this comforting person helps rebuild the anxious dog’s confidence and trust over time.
Calm vs. Restless Sleepers
Some dogs are selective about choosing a sleeping human based on that person’s sleep habits and nighttime behavior. Restless sleepers who toss, turn, snore, or wake frequently may frustrate dogs and lead to eviction from the bed at night.
On the other hand, dogs are drawn to the calming presence of owners who sleep soundly through the night. And they learn to share a sleeping space cooperatively with this owner who provides a sense of peace and security under the covers.
Dog’s Age and Life Stage
Puppies under about 1 year old tend to want and need more nighttime comforting. Being close to owners helps young puppies feel safe in their new environments during the adjustment period after leaving their mother and littermates.
Adolescent dogs between around 1-3 years old often become more independent and want to sleep on their own. But senior dogs 10 years and older again begin desiring more owner contact and companionship at night as they slow down and require reassurance.
Personality
Certain personality traits like aggressiveness toward other dogs or protectiveness over toys and food can indicate dogs that prefer having their own space at night. More territorial dogs may have an instinct to guard their owner and bed rather than share.
Conversely, extremely social dogs that get along with other pets are more likely to enjoy piling together with multiple family members. Their sociable temperament translates to wanting company while sleeping.
Availability
Sometimes a dog’s choice of which owner to snuggle simply comes down to who offers the opportunity. For example, one owner may go to bed much earlier or later than the other owner, so the dog sleeps with whoever is in bed at the right time.
Or one owner may travel more frequently for work, leaving the dog to curl up with the owner who is present at home each night by default. Easy availability and a consistent presence influences who the dog bonds with at bedtime.
Relationship Dynamics Between Owners
The nature of the relationship between co-owners can indirectly impact where a dog sleeps. Tension, arguing, or lack of bonding between owners can make a dog uneasy and influence their bedtime decisions.
Dogs are very intuitive and may gravitate toward the owner who provides a calmer, more positive presence in the home. Sleeping beside this owner feels comforting if the dog perceives underlying issues in the household.
Change Over the Dog’s Lifetime
While dogs often choose one consistent sleeping companion, it’s not unheard of for their preferences to shift over time. Major life events like moving homes, adding babies or other pets to the family, or changes in owner work schedules can influence sleeping arrangements.
Dogs are creatures of habit but they are also adaptable. Don’t be surprised if who your dog snuggles with at night changes and evolves as your dog’s needs and your family dynamics change over the years.
Compromise and Comfort Maximization
In households with 2 owners who equally spend time with and dote on the dog, the dog may alternate nights or divide the night between owners. This compromise could provide the dog maximum access to each owner’s comforting presence.
For example, a dog may start the night in one owner’s bed then hop over to the other owner’s bed later on. Or the dog may sleep sandwiched happily between both owners in the middle of the bed.
Conclusion
While every dog has unique preferences when it comes to co-sleeping, the strongest factors that draw a dog to one owner over another at bedtime include emotional bonding, security, comfort, access to resources, and consistency in the relationship. Dogs rely on their finely-tuned instincts to determine who provides the best sensing of safety, companionship, and support at night.
By understanding what influences a dog’s choice in sleeping companions, owners can strengthen their own bond with the dog and provide them with the warm, comforting presence they crave at bedtime.
| Factor | Description |
|---|---|
| Bonding and Attachment | Dogs feel most secure sleeping with primary attachment figure |
| Resource Provider | Dogs stay close to leader of the pack who provides food and other valuable resources |
| Softness and Warmth | Dogs prefer soft, warm spaces like human beds |
| Needy Dogs | Velcro breeds and dogs with abandonment issues are more likely to sleep in bed with owners |
| Senior Dogs | Aging dogs often desire more nighttime contact and comfort |
| Access Allowed | Dogs sleep with owners who allow them into bedrooms and beds |
| Activity Schedule | Dogs bond most with owners who spend more active hours together |
| Gender | Some studies show dogs prefer female owners for perceived softness |
| Fearful Dogs | Anxious and traumatized dogs feel safest sleeping beside trusted owners |
| Calm vs. Restless | Dogs prefer sleeping with owners who are calmer and less restless |
| Age and Stage | Puppies and seniors have greater desire for nighttime contact |
| Personality | Territorial dogs prefer their own space, social dogs pile together |
| Availability | Dogs sleep with whoever is available at bedtime |
| Relationship Dynamics | Dogs sense relationship issues and may avoid those owners at bedtime |
| Change Over Lifetime | A dog’s preferences can evolve as lifestyle changes |
| Compromise | Dogs may alternate between owners to satisfy bonding needs with all |