Having a coworker who undermines you can be very frustrating and make your work life miserable. But how can you tell if a coworker is actually undermining you or if it’s just your perception? Here are some signs to watch out for and ways to address the issue professionally.
They Take Credit for Your Work
One of the most common signs of an undermining coworker is when they take credit for work that you have done. For example, if you spearheaded a new project and your coworker presents it to management as their own idea, that is undermining behavior. Or if you wrote a report but your coworker submits it as their own without giving you credit. This type of self-serving behavior hurts your reputation and ability to advance at the company.
They Blame You for Their Mistakes
An undermining coworker will avoid taking responsibility for their own mistakes and shortcomings. When something goes wrong on a project, they will point fingers at you even if you had little or no role in the process. They may bring up your past mistakes to management in an effort to direct attention and criticism away from themselves. This type of blame shifting behavior is extremely unfair and often leaves you in a no-win situation.
They Criticize You to Others
Backstabbing behavior where a coworker smiles to your face but then criticizes you to others behind your back is definitely a sign of undermining. They may make subtle criticisms about your work product, abilities, appearance or mannerisms. Or they may spread outright lies and rumors intended to hurt your reputation. This indirect form of sabotage creates a toxic environment of fear and mistrust.
They Withhold Important Information
Information is power in the workplace. An undermining coworker recognizes this and may intentionally withhold important details, updates or resources from you. For example, they may conveniently “forget” to notify you about an important meeting. Or neglect to inform you when management changes a policy or deadline that impacts your work. This lack of communication handicaps your ability to do your job well and stay up-to-date.
They Overlook Your Contributions
In team settings, a truly undermining coworker will minimize or outright ignore your contributions and ideas. When you speak up in meetings, they may interrupt you or talk over you. If you contribute something positive to a project, they will downplay your role and act as if it was no big deal. This signals to others that your voice is not valued, undermining your confidence and standing.
They Isolate You Socially
Underminers often try to isolate their targets socially at work. They may deliberately exclude you from team lunches, after work happy hours or other social gatherings among coworkers. Or they may ignore you in the office and avoid professional interactions beyond the bare minimum required. This social exclusion makes you feel ostracized and like an outsider instead of a valued member of the team.
They Gossip About You
Malicious office gossip often includes your undermining coworker bad-mouthing you within your peer group. They may portray you as difficult, lazy, incompetent or unprofessional to other coworkers. Water cooler talk can quickly become toxic when someone has an agenda to undermine you. The gossip may also include personal or sensitive information intended to damage your credibility and relationships.
They Sabotage Your Work
Active sabotage takes undermining to the next level, where a scheming coworker deliberately tries to make you look bad or even cause you to fail. For example, they may intentionally withhold important resources that make it impossible for you to complete a project on time. Or they may delete valuable files, spreadsheets or data on your computer to impede your progress. In severe cases, they may tamper with your actual work product before it is submitted.
They Compete With You Unfairly
A coworker may perceive you as a threat to their own career advancement. As a result, they undermine you by competing with you in unfair or unethical ways. For example, they may try to pit team members against you or turn your boss against you. They may unjustly complain that you’re not pulling your weight on projects. And they will find ways to position themselves politically within the organization at your expense.
How To Address an Undermining Coworker
If you suspect a coworker is strategically undermining you, don’t suffer in silence or retaliate. Here are some professional ways to address the issue head-on.
Collect Evidence
Keep a detailed log of all incidents where your coworker undermines, sabotages or mistreats you. Note dates, times, what specifically they did and any witnesses. Their behavior may be so subtle that management will want concrete examples before they can intervene. Evidence also protects you from counterclaims that you’re imagining things.
Set Professional Boundaries
Make it clear through your words and actions that you will not tolerate unethical or toxic behavior from colleagues. State your expectations upfront by saying something like, “Please do not take credit for work that I spearheaded. If we contribute jointly to a project, we should share credit accordingly.”
Confront Them Tactfully
Pull your undermining coworker aside privately and have a frank discussion about their behavior. Be very specific about your concerns and its impact on you and the team. But avoid making accusations or becoming emotional. If they claim it was a misunderstanding or deny undermining you, reiterate boundaries and expectations going forward.
Elevate Concerns to Management
If toxic behavior continues despite confronting your coworker directly, it’s time to loop in management through HR channels. Share your detailed evidence and let them investigate and handle it per company policy. You may need to file a formal complaint for harassment, hostility or unethical conduct depending on the circumstances.
Evaluate Your Own Behavior
Consider honestly whether you have contributed in any way to tensions with your coworker. If there are two sides to the story, be willing to listen, communicate better or make reasonable compromises. While undermining is never justified, you want to make sure you take the high road in addressing it.
Rise Above It
As unfair as undermining behavior may be, avoid stooping to their level in response. Kill them with kindness and focus on doing your job. Let your consistent professionalism speak for itself. Coworkers who undermine others inevitably reveal their poor character without your help.
Limit Interactions
Where possible, reduce contact and collaborative work with the undermining coworker. Keep interactions cordial but brief and all business. The less exposure you have to their toxicity, the less it can affect you. If the situation permits, request to move offices or change roles to create distance.
Tips for Dealing with a Workplace Underminer
Here are some additional pro tips for coping when you have to work alongside someone seeking to undermine you:
- Avoid oversharing personal information they could use against you
- Rise above office gossip and refuse to participate
- Build positive relationships with other coworkers to avoid isolation
- Emphasize teamwork and “how can we help each other” with peers
- Celebrate teammates’ accomplishments instead of competing
- Manage up with higher-ups to ensure they know your value
- Kill the underminer with kindness and make them look like the bad guy
- Keep communication professional, courteous and solution-focused
- Document everything to protect yourself against retaliation or firing
- Focus energy on your own work instead of their drama
When to Take Legal Action
In some cases, undermining behavior can cross the line into harassment, discrimination or even fraud. Examples might include:
- Romantic advances or inappropriate touching
- Offensive comments about your gender, race, religion or other protected class
- Threats, intimidation or physical aggression
- Stalking or spying on you outside of work
- Illegally accessing your personal accounts or devices
- Stealing and passing off your work as their own
- Damaging your equipment or workspace
These types of actions may require legal intervention in the form of an internal complaint to HR, filing with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), or even getting law enforcement involved. Consult with an attorney to determine your rights.
When to Consider Changing Jobs
Dealing with a persistently undermining coworker or toxic work environment can take a heavy mental and emotional toll. If attempts to improve the situation fail, you may ultimately need to look for a new job to preserve your sanity and career.
Signs it’s time to move on include:
- Ongoing stress, anxiety, depression or other mental health impacts
- Coworker’s undermining continues despite intervention
- You dread going to work each day
- Loss of passion for your job
- Feeling helpless, defeated or bottlenecked in your career
- Physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, insomnia
- Management refuses to address the issue
- Undermining affects your job performance
As difficult as it might be, leaving a toxic workplace for a new job opportunity may be your best path forward to regain happiness and thrive professionally.
Conclusion
Having your contributions minimized by a scheming coworker can seriously impact your work experience, career path and self-esteem. But there are proactive steps you can take to defend yourself professionally when undermining occurs. Seek support from peers, document incidents, confront bad behavior, set boundaries and know when it’s time to loop in management or HR. With good communication and quick intervention, an undermining coworker doesn’t have to derail your career. In severe cases, legal action or leaving the job may be warranted to protect your mental health and professional reputation.