How do you gain lost respect?

Respect is something that is earned over time through our actions, behavior and treatment of others. However, there are times when respect may be lost due to mistakes, misunderstandings or unethical behavior. The loss of respect from others can be difficult to deal with. When respect is lost, it takes time and consistent effort to regain it. The good news is that in many cases, lost respect can be restored.

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Why might respect be lost?

There are a few key reasons why someone may lose the respect of others:

Acting unethically or immorally such as lying, cheating, stealing or betraying trust

Disrespecting or mistreating others through abusive behavior, bullying or discrimination
Consistently letting people down or not following through on promises or commitments
Showing poor judgment and decision-making over time

Abusing positions of authority and power
Being hypocritical and not practicing what you preach
Having a big ego and acting arrogant or entitled

Spreading gossip, betraying confidences or talking behind people’s backs

When someone engages in these types of behaviors over time, especially without remorse or effort to improve, they risk losing the respect of others. Respect is easily damaged when trust is broken.

How can you start to regain lost respect?

While lost respect can be difficult to restore, it is not impossible. Here are some ways to start making amends and gradually regaining respect:

Take accountability. The first step is to fully own up to your mistakes and actions that caused hurt or loss of trust. Don’t make excuses or blame others. A sincere, specific apology goes a long way.
Listen and understand the impact. Have an open conversation to understand how your behavior impacted others and why they may have lost respect for you. Listen without defensiveness.
Commit to change. You will need to back up apologies with demonstrable actions and changed behavior over time. Commit to personal growth and stick to it.

Make amends. Determine if there are any direct amends you can make to repair harm you caused others. Follow through sincerely.
Be consistent. Respect is rebuilt slowly by maintaining positive behavior day in and day out. Don’t revert back to old ways.
Admit mistakes. If you make a misstep in the behavior change process, own up to it quickly and recommit.

Show humility. Demonstrate through words and actions that you do not see yourself as above others. Be humble and keep ego in check.
Do the right thing. When faced with choices, large and small, choose the high road and ethical path, even when difficult.
Add value to others. Look for genuine ways to offer kindness, support, encouragement and help to others without expecting anything in return.

Be patient. Recognize that restoring respect takes a lot of time. Don’t get frustrated. Stay consistent.

How can you rebuild trust that was lost?

Trust is tightly intertwined with respect. When respect is lost, trust is usually damaged as well. Here are tips for rebuilding broken trust:

Remember that trust is rebuilt slowly over time, based on consistent actions, not words. Follow through and be reliable.

Focus on listening to others more than talking. Be open and vulnerable in sharing your feelings and struggles.
Come through when it counts. In important moments, show up for others and have their back.
Maintain confidentiality and integrity if entrusted with private information.

Give credit and acknowledge others’ contributions rather than taking all the credit yourself.
If you commit a mistake or relapse in poor behavior, disclose it immediately rather than hiding it.
For big violations of trust, the rebuilding process may need to start small. Earn trust in lower-risk situations first.

Think through decisions thoroughly so you are sure to follow through. Don’t overcommit.
Sometimes words won’t be enough – tangible actions to make amends will carry more weight.
Accept that lost trust may never be fully restored with some people. Focus positive efforts on new relationships.

What are the benefits of regaining lost respect?

While the process can be very difficult, there are significant benefits that come with regaining lost respect:

Strengthened relationships – With regained respect and trust comes deeper bonds and connections with others.
Improved reputation – Your reputation with peers and community is restored over time.

Increased influence – When people respect you, they are more open to your influence and ideas.
Greater opportunities – More opportunities tend to come your way (i.e. career advancement).
Lasting change – Sticking through the process builds character and leads to lasting change.

Peace of mind – Repairing past mistakes brings increased peace of mind and self-respect.
Overcoming challenges – Facing this adversity makes you better equipped for future challenges.
Personal growth – You become more ethical, mature and emotionally intelligent.

What behaviors demonstrate that respect has been restored?

It can be hard to know when enough time and effort has passed to say respect has truly been regained. Signs that respect has been restored include:

Others begin trusting you with responsibilities, confidences and influence once again.
You are invited to participate in group decisions and your voice carries weight.

Your advice or guidance is sought by colleagues or community members.
Interactions feel relaxed and positive rather than tense or adversarial.
Appreciation and praise come your way from others both publicly and privately.

People seem genuinely happy to see you and spend time together.
Feedback from others is overwhelmingly positive rather than critical.
You are nominated or promoted into leadership opportunities and roles.

Others show care, concern and interest in your well-being.
People feel comfortable admitting mistakes and imperfections to you.

How can you avoid losing respect in the future?

The best path is to build habits and qualities that commanded respect in the first place. Here are some tips:

Keep growing in self-awareness and maintain accountability for your actions.
Make ethics and integrity top priorities in your decision-making.
Value humility, sincerity and trustworthiness as personal strengths.

Promote kindness and foster mutual understanding in all your relationships.
Model principled leadership and lead by example.
Meditate often to manage stress and nurture inner wisdom.

Become a lifelong learner always seeking new perspectives.
Think through decisions thoroughly and follow through on commitments.
Accept feedback gracefully and adjust your behavior as needed.

Treat all people with respect, regardless of status, background or views.

Conclusion

The loss of respect from others can be a hard lesson, but also an opportunity for profound personal growth. With sincere effort over time, respect can gradually be regained. Focus on accountability, consistency and trustworthiness above all else. Employ active listening, vulnerability, humility and empathy in your interactions. If respect was once there, it likely can be there again.