How can you tell if a guy is texting another woman?

It can be difficult to know for sure if your partner is texting another woman. However, there are some signs you can look out for that might indicate he is being unfaithful or hiding something from you. Being aware of potential red flags can help you determine if you need to have an open conversation with your partner about your concerns.

He is protective over his phone

One of the most common signs a guy is texting another woman is if he suddenly becomes very protective over his phone. He may take it with him everywhere, even to the bathroom or shower. If he used to let you freely look through his texts and now gets defensive when you pick up his phone, this shift in behavior could indicate he is hiding communications with another woman.

Some other phone-related behaviors to look out for include:

  • Turning his phone face down when you are near him
  • Angle his body away from you when texting
  • Delete texts and call history
  • Leave the room to talk on the phone
  • Increase phone security with passcodes or fingerprint locks

Of course, not all secretive phone habits are proof of cheating. But if this behavior is new or has recently gotten worse, it could mean he is being shady about who he is texting or calling.

His texting habits change

Shifts in your partner’s normal texting behaviors can also indicate he may be messaging another woman. Things to look out for include:

  • He texts more frequently throughout the day
  • He texts at odd hours, like late at night or early morning
  • He takes longer to respond to your texts
  • He stops texting as much when you’re together
  • He seems distracted when texting, laughing or smiling at his phone

Of course, being busy at work or having active group chats with his friends could also explain some of these texting changes. But if his habits shift dramatically without explanation, it may mean he is investing time and effort texting someone new.

Your intuition says something is off

Even small changes in your partner’s normal behavior that make you feel like something is wrong can be important signs worth paying attention to. You know your relationship better than anyone. If your intuition is telling you your partner may be texting another woman, don’t ignore that feeling.

Some signs that trigger a gut feeling he is being unfaithful include:

  • He seems distant, cold or less interested in you
  • Your sex life has changed, either increased or decreased
  • He puts less effort into the relationship
  • He has become more critical or even mean
  • He picks more fights with you
  • He disappears for periods of time
  • He has gotten more secretive in general

Even if there is no hard evidence, a strong intuition that something feels wrong is usually reason enough to talk to your partner about your concerns and ask for honest reassurance from him.

His social habits have changed

Sudden changes in your partner’s social life, like spending more time out without you, could indicate he is seeing someone else. Watch out for:

  • More frequent guys nights out or weekend trips without you
  • Hanging out with new friends you don’t know
  • Spending more time at bars, parties, or clubs
  • Canceling or changing plans with you more often
  • Being vague about who he was with or what he did

Increased secretive social behavior like this can mean he is making time in his schedule to communicate with another woman in person. It could also simply mean he is pulling away from the relationship for other reasons, which is still worth discussing.

You notice flirtatious social media activity

Social media can provide clues that your partner is interacting with another woman. Things like:

  • Liking, commenting on or sharing lots of posts by one woman
  • Adding new female friends you don’t know
  • Private messaging women
  • Deleting you from his profiles or relationship status
  • Being tagged in posts at a location he hadn’t told you about

Social media activity isn’t definitive proof of cheating, as platonic friendships do exist. But if you notice your partner directing romantic, flirty, or sexualized attention toward another woman online, it likely merits a conversation about your relationship boundaries.

He accuses you of cheating or being suspicious

One surprising sign your partner may be texting or seeing someone else is if he begins accusing you of cheating, even if you’ve done nothing wrong. False accusations like this are referred to as projection, where a guilty partner transfers their own bad behavior onto you.

Other forms of projection to look out for include:

  • He is hyper-critical of your behavior he is also guilty of
  • He secretly monitors your texts, emails, or social media
  • He brings up cheating frequently in conversation
  • He seems to look for reasons to argue with you

His over-the-top suspicion likely indicates he is being unfaithful and assuming you are too. This projection diverts attention away from his own actions.

Your sex life has changed

Sudden shifts in your intimate and sexual relationship can also be red flags. He may:

  • Initiate sex more often or want to try new things
  • Become less interested in sex with you
  • Have difficulty becoming aroused or reaching orgasm
  • Mention or act out sexual fantasies involving others
  • Make more critical or mean comments about your body or performance

Again, there are other possible reasons for sexual changes, like health issues or general relationship problems. But if your sex life has noticeably shifted without explanation, discuss this change in a caring way with your partner to check whether cheating is the cause.

He hides financial activity

Secretive financial behavior can also be a red flag your partner is misusing funds to enable an affair. Watch out for:

  • Sudden increases in credit card bills or bank withdrawals
  • Purchases from jewelry, lingerie, hotel, or florist shops you didn’t receive
  • Taking out extra cash from ATMs
  • Using a credit card you don’t have access to
  • Keeping bank and credit statements hidden from you

Of course, financial secrecy could simply mean your partner is planning a surprise gift for you. But if you’ve noticed other suspicious signs, it may be worth checking whether funds are being used on another woman.

He showers abruptly when he comes home

Some partners having affairs come home and immediately shower to rinse off evidence. Things to look out for include:

  • Showering the second he walks in the door
  • Refusing affection from you until after a shower
  • Showering multiple times a day
  • Dramatically increased grooming or using new colognes
  • Hiding or laundering certain clothes

Sudden increased concern with hygiene and appearance like this can indicate he feels dirty or guilty and wants to wash away proof of his activities. But again, there are also plenty of innocent possible reasons like working up a sweat at the gym.

He has unexplained items or content

Physical evidence of another woman can also signal cheating. This includes:

  • Lipstick stains or unusual odors on his body or clothes
  • Long hairs in his vehicle or home of a different color than yours
  • Hotel keys or receipts
  • Jewelry or clothing gifts he didn’t purchase for you
  • Condoms missing from your stash
  • Explicit emails, texts, photos or videos on his devices

Digital and physical clues like these make it much harder for your partner to deny his involvement with another woman. But it’s still possible the evidence has an innocent explanation, so avoid making accusations until you talk with your partner.

You catch him in outright lies

Finally, the most definitive proof your man is texting another woman behind your back is if you actually catch him lying. For example:

  • You read a flirty text on his phone he claimed was a male friend
  • He got caught secretly contacting an ex
  • You confirmed he was at a location after he said he was elsewhere
  • A woman you don’t know contacts you claiming they are dating or sleeping with him

Once clear deception enters the picture, it becomes nearly impossible to deny shady behavior is going on. But even if you catch him lying, avoid making rash decisions and talk things through once emotions have settled down.


Noticing one or two of these signs in isolation does not necessarily mean your partner is cheating. Innocent behavior changes happen frequently in relationships. However, a combination of suspicious digital, financial, and social shifts in your man’s life should prompt a caring but frank conversation about your trust in the partnership.

Speak up if your intuition tells you something feels off. With open communication, you can either address what is causing disconnect in your relationship or uncover the truth about a potential affair. While confronting a cheating partner is painful, it at least provides clarity so you can move forward and decide if the relationship is worth fighting for.

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