Do you take a gift to a Jack and Jill?

A Jack and Jill party is a traditional pre-wedding celebration for the bride and groom. It’s an opportunity for the bride and groom’s friends and family to get together and celebrate the upcoming nuptials. If you’ve been invited to a Jack and Jill party, you may be wondering if you need to bring a gift.

Should you bring a gift to a Jack and Jill party?

The short answer is yes, you should bring a gift to a Jack and Jill party. While gifts are not absolutely mandatory, it is customary for guests to give a gift or contribution to the bride and groom. Some common Jack and Jill gift ideas include:

  • Cash – This allows the couple to put the money towards their honeymoon or another aspect of their wedding.
  • Gift cards – Consider getting them a card for restaurants, spas, hotels, home goods stores, etc.
  • Home items – Such as dishes, bakeware, towels, picture frames.
  • Couple-themed gifts – Personalized items with the couple’s names or wedding date.
  • Honeymoon contributions – You can give specifically towards their post-wedding trip.

Your gift does not need to be elaborate or expensive. The most important thing is to give something thoughtful that will help the couple start their new life together.

How much should you spend?

The amount you spend on a Jack and Jill gift can vary greatly. Some general guidelines on gift spending:

  • Close family members and wedding party: $50 – $150
  • Friends and extended family: $30 – $100
  • Work colleagues: $20 – $75
  • Acquaintances: $15 – $50

You should base the amount you spend on your relationship with the bride and groom. Don’t feel obligated to spend beyond your means, but do try to give a thoughtful gift within your budget.

Should you give cash?

Giving cash is perfectly acceptable for a Jack and Jill party. Here are some tips if you want to give cash:

  • Give cash in lieu of a physical gift if you don’t know the couple well or don’t know their preferences.
  • Place the cash in a nice card with a heartfelt message.
  • Consider your budget – $50-100 per guest/couple is fairly standard for cash gifts.
  • If the invitation includes gift registry info, you can give cash towards one of the registry items.

The bride and groom will likely appreciate cash that they can use for wedding or honeymoon expenses. Just present the cash in a thoughtful, respectful way.

Should you buy from their wedding registry?

If the Jack and Jill hosts created a wedding registry, it’s fine to select a gift from the registry. However, you are not obligated to buy solely from their list. Here are some tips on using the registry:

  • Review the registry items and prices to fit your budget. Stay in your spending comfort zone.
  • Consider chipping in with other guests for a bigger ticket registry item.
  • Make sure the gift will be delivered in time if it’s coming directly from the store.
  • Include a personal card and note when having an item shipped.
  • Still consider giving cash if nothing on the registry is affordable for your budget.

Picking a registry item shows you put thought into finding their needed and desired gifts. But feel free to give a gift off the registry if you prefer.

Should you give a group gift?

Giving a gift as a group with other Jack and Jill guests is appropriate. Some tips for group gifts:

  • Organize with family members or friends you know will attend.
  • Choose something more substantial that you couldn’t buy individually, like nicer appliances.
  • Make sure everyone contributes fairly to the group gift.
  • Shop for the gift together or divide up responsibilities.
  • Have one person responsible for gift delivery and the card.

A group gift shows teamwork and enables you give the couple something more memorable. Just coordinate carefully if pursuing a group gift.

What if you cannot attend the party?

If you are invited but cannot attend the Jack and Jill party, you should still give a gift. Some options include:

  • Mail a gift directly from the store or an online retailer.
  • Send a gift card electronically or in the mail.
  • Make a cash contribution through an online payment app.
  • Ship a personalized gift basket or package.
  • Send something useful for their new home together.

Your gift doesn’t have to be elaborate if you miss the event. The important thing is to congratulate the couple and contribute to this celebratory occasion.

Should children bring gifts?

If children are invited to the Jack and Jill party, parents can decide if they want their child to bring a small gift or contribute to the parent’s gift. Some tips for kid gifts:

  • Have young children color a congratulatory card to the bride and groom.
  • Older children can pick out an inexpensive gift like a photo frame.
  • Let the child contribute $5-$15 towards mom and dad’s gift.
  • Kids can help make homemade baked goods or crafts as a gift.
  • Parents can purchase a typical kid gift like a gift card on the child’s behalf.

While kids don’t have to spend a lot or give separately from their parents, including them in the gifting builds excitement for the upcoming wedding.

Do you need to bring a hostess gift?

Unless otherwise specified, you do not need to bring a separate hostess gift for the Jack and Jill party hosts. Some guidelines on hostess gifts:

  • Your gift for the bridal couple will suffice in most cases.
  • If close family is hosting, you can bring flowers, wine or treats as an extra gesture.
  • Consider additional host gifts only if you have a very close relationship with the hosts.
  • Make sure not to upstage the bride and groom with any hostess gifts.

Focus your time, effort and expense on the gift for the guest of honor at the Jack and Jill party.

Should you ship gifts to arrive early?

It’s best to ship any physical gifts to arrive 1-2 days before the Jack and Jill party. Some tips for shipping gifts:

  • Verify the shipping address – either the couple’s home or party venue.
  • Choose expedited shipping so it arrives in time but not too early.
  • Include a personal card with well wishes for the bride and groom.
  • Send a text or email to let the recipients know a gift is en route.
  • Bring a small card to the party as well to indicate you shipped something.

Proper timing and communication about the shipped gift will ensure the couple receives it when intended.

What if you cannot afford a nice gift?

If money is tight, don’t stress about an expensive Jack and Jill gift. Focus on what you can give within your budget. Some affordable ideas include:

  • Bake homemade cookies, breads or other treats.
  • Make a personalized photo collage or memory book.
  • Give $20-$30 cash in a thoughtful card.
  • Pay for their coffee or dinner out with a gift card.
  • Give tickets to a local event like mini golf or the movies.

Remember, it’s the thought that counts most. The couple will appreciate any heartfelt gift or contribution you can manage.

Do you need to wrap Jack and Jill gifts?

You do not necessarily need to wrap gifts for a Jack and Jill party. Some tips on wrapping:

  • Wrapping is optional, so don’t feel obligated.
  • If shipping a gift, include gift wrapping from the retailer.
  • Smaller gifts like gift cards can be presented in a small gift bag or box.
  • Unwrapped gifts should still include a nice card and personal note.
  • Larger, wrapped gifts can help build excitement at the reveal.

Use your best judgment on whether or not to wrap a gift. A gift bag or bow can add a nice touch without going overboard on wrapping.

What message should your gift card have?

If giving a gift card for a Jack and Jill party, include a personalized message. Here are some gift card message ideas:

  • Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
  • Wishing you joy and happiness as you start your new adventure together.
  • To a perfect pair – enjoy your favorite dinner together with this gift.
  • Can’t wait to celebrate with you! Use this for wedding planning treats.
  • Here’s to love and laughter for years to come!

Keep the tone celebratory and optimistic. Focus on their relationship and future together. Add well wishes for their married life ahead.

What if you cannot attend but want to send a gift?

If you are invited to the Jack and Jill party but cannot make it, you should still send a gift. Tips for sending a gift when not attending:

  • Mail the gift to the bride or host’s address to arrive by or before the party date.
  • Send a digital gift card or cash transfer if you worry about shipping times.
  • Order a gift for delivery from their wedding registry if they have one.
  • Ship a gift basket or package with treats and weddingnecessities.
  • Include a heartfelt card apologizing for your absence but wishing them well.

Your gift will still be meaningful even if given remotely. Add personal touches and communicate your congratulations if you can’t attend.


A Jack and Jill shower marks an exciting step towards marriage for the betrothed couple. While gifts are not required, it is customary to give the bride and groom a thoughtful contribution to celebrate their upcoming union. Take into account your relationship, budget and their needs to guide your gift selection. Remember, gifts of any size can express your well wishes for their future together when presented with sincerity and care.

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