Cats are often seen as aloof, independent creatures who don’t seem to crave human interaction and affection to the same degree as dogs. While it’s true that cats are more solitary in nature than their canine counterparts, their subtle displays of affection and connection with their owners often go unnoticed or misunderstood. One common question cat owners ponder is whether cats feel remorse or apologize after unwanted behaviors like scratching furniture or waking you up too early. Do cats even understand the human concept of saying “sorry,” or are they too self-absorbed to care?
The short answer is: cats likely don’t comprehend the human notion of apologizing, but they do exhibit signs of conflicted emotions and discomfort after acting out, which cat owners may perceive as regret or remorse. Let’s explore the evidence behind cat psychology and communication to better understand their expressions following unwanted behaviors.
Do Cats Understand Right and Wrong?
Unlike dogs, cats lack a natural instinct to “please” their owners and follow commands. Independent problem-solving comes more naturally to them. Cats associate certain behaviors with positive and negative outcomes over time through conditioning, not an inherent sense of right and wrong. For example, a cat may learn not to scratch the couch because it elicits scolding, not because they feel guilty scratching is “wrong.”
This is an important distinction because the concept of “apologizing” requires an understanding of moral rights and wrongs. Without that ethical framework, saying sorry holds no meaning. So while cats recognize certain actions provoke approval or disapproval from you, anthropomorphizing complex emotions like remorse onto them is likely inaccurate.
Can Cats Feel Guilty?
That being said, some cat behaviors may superficially resemble human guilt. Hiding, avoiding eye contact, and acting submissive after misbehaving could look like shame or embarrassment. However, experts assert this is likely due to fear of punishment rather than true remorse. Cats dislike scolding or seeing you upset, and react accordingly.
Guilt requires a level of self-awareness and ethical processing cats simply don’t possess. But they do feel forms of social guilt; acting out results in damaged connections with loved ones. After unwanted behaviors, cats likely wish to avoid further conflict, hence the appeasing body language. But attributing complex secondary emotions and the desire to right wrongs onto them gives cats too much credit.
Do Cats Say Sorry?
You’ve likely seen dogs display canine apologies, slinking over with low posture after misbehaving. Can the same be said for cats? Well, certain “apology behaviors” have been observed, but they convey a nuanced message.
For example, cats may approach you gently, rub against you, or knead after unwanted behaviors. Some claim this says “sorry for my outburst, let’s make up.” But it more likely signals the cat’s wish for reconciliation and to restore your bond. Anthropic Project scientist Dr. Alexander is doubtful cats associate this gesture with the abstract human concept of apology and expressing regret.
“Cats don’t think ‘I did something wrong and should apologize now.’ They think ‘my friend is upset with me, I need to smooth things over,'” he explains. So while cats lack the cognitive framework to explicitly say sorry, subtle behaviors intended to resolve conflict and invite affection back do exist.
How Do Cats Try to Appease You?
So how exactly do cats attempt to restore your relationship after acting out? Here are some of the most common cat appeasement gestures to look for:
– Approaching slowly and crouching down, with ears back. This submissive posture says “I don’t want more conflict.”
– Rolling on their back and exposing the belly. This vulnerable posture similarly communicates a desire for reconciliation.
– Approaching and rubbing the face on you gently. Cats have scent glands on their face, so this transfers a friendly scent and says “let’s be affectionate again.”
– Kneading or gently pawing you. Soft paw touches signify affection.
– Purring. Though purring may communicate many things, post-conflict purring often signals a wish to repair your bond.
– Blinking slowly or giving “kitty kisses.” Like purring, this says “all is forgiven, let’s be friends again.”
So in summary, while cats may not comprehend apologies, they understand their actions impact your shared connection. Behaviors like rolling over, rubbing, and kneading are efforts to restore harmony after acting out.
Do Cats Feel Bad When They Misbehave?
Many cat owners swear their cat looks guilty and ashamed after misbehaving. But as discussed above, remorse and shame require complex cognitive processing beyond cats’ capabilities. However, some research supports the idea that cats do exhibit signs of feeling bad after unwanted behaviors – even if “guilty” may not be the right descriptor.
What the Research Shows
In 2009, Dr. Alexandra Horowitz conducted a study on the so-called “guilty look” dogs display. When scolded for eating a forbidden treat, dogs looked guilty even when they hadn’t actually eaten it. This suggests the guilty look derives from the scolding itself, not internal remorse.
In 2014, Dr. Horowitz conducted a similar study on cats. She gave owners a treats container, instructing them to scold their cat either before or after eating from it. When scolded before accessing the treats, most cats still exhibited a “guilty look” of avoidance and submissiveness. This supports the theory that cat guilt results from fear of punishment, not remorse.
However, Dr. Horowitz noted an interesting subset of cats who behaved differently after being scolded for actually eating the treats. About 20% produced distress meows and approached owners soliciting attention. Horowitz theorized they attempted to reconcile because the scolding was confusing, as they had no knowledge of wrongdoing.
This study suggests a small subset of cats may experience something akin to feeling bad after misbehaving, even if not human-like guilt. Perceived scoldings damage cats’ understanding of their bond, causing distress only soothed through reconciliation.
What Experts Say
Certified feline behavior consultant Mikel Delgado agrees some cats do exhibit conflicted feelings after misbehaving, distinct from shame. As prey animals, cats hate feeling threatened by those they trust. Delgado states cats want to be sure they will not experience aggression from you after acting out.
Cat behaviorist Marilyn Krieger also observes cats often try to “make up” through friendly behaviors post-misbehavior – especially more people-oriented cats. She believes cats have some capacity to feel bad about damaging the human-cat relationship.
So while cats likely don’t experience moralistic human guilt, their appeasing behaviors reflect dislike of damaged social bonds. Experts agree cats probably feel best when maintaining positive connections.
Why Do Cats Misbehave in the First Place?
To better understand why cats appear distressed after scoldings, it helps to explore what motivates unwanted behaviors. Common transgressions like scratching furniture or waking you at 4 AM derive from natural cat needs and instincts, not spite. The following factors often drive inappropriate cat conduct:
Marking Territory
Cats scratch objects to mark their domain and exercise claw muscles. Limiting more acceptable scratching posts teaches them where to direct this innate behavior.
Boredom
Solitary hunters require ample stimulation. Without sufficient enrichment, cats may act out through inappropriate scratching, vocalizing, or waking you for attention.
Prey Drive
Stalking and pouncing satisfies natural hunting instincts. Direct these behaviors onto toys, not people. Engage your cat’s prey drive with regular play sessions.
Stress
Anxious or frustrated cats often misbehave. Soothe stress through calming cat pheromones, routine, and meeting needs.
Unmet Needs
Meowing for food an hour early? Acting out could signal unmet needs. Ensure your cat’s schedule accommodates natural bio rhythms.
While exasperating, most bad behaviors derive from a cat’s inborn nature. Understanding this will help you respond with empathy rather than anger after cat transgressions.
How to Respond to Cat Misbehavior
When your cat inevitably acts out, how should you respond to discourage the behavior without damaging your bond? Here are constructive ways to handle cat misdeeds:
Remain Calm
Cats dislike volatile reactions. A raised voice or angry body language amplifies stress. Stay composed.
Interrupt Immediately
Say “no” firmly or make a sound like “ehh” to interrupt the behavior in progress. But avoid overly scaring your cat.
Redirect Elsewhere
Guide your cat to a preferred scratching post or toy to redirect scratching or hunting urges constructively.
Remove Reward Opportunities
If your cat wakes you wanting food, don’t reinforce this by feeding immediately. Wait until later so they don’t associate waking you with reward.
Use Deterrents
Place sticky tape, aluminum foil, or citrus scents where you want to deter scratching. Or use a pet-safe air spray to interrupt counter surfing.
Avoid Punishment
Punishments like yelling, rough handling, or spray bottles induce more stress and damaged trust. This escalates behavior issues.
Reinforce Good Behavior
Actively reward desired behavior with treats and affection. This builds trust and shows cats how to earn your approval.
Responding calmly yet firmly, without anger or retaliation, communicates boundaries while maintaining your bond with kitty.
Why Cats Don’t Say Sorry – The Bottom Line
While the complexity of cat emotions and cognition remains partly mysterious, the consensus is clear: cats don’t experience human-like remorse requiring an apology. They lack the ethical frameworks of right and wrong. However, cats do desire social harmony and feel distressed when bonds are damaged. So when your cat nudges, purrs, and blinks after misbehaving, interpret this as them trying to reconcile “we’re okay, right?” rather than a true apology. Going forward, use their communications as opportunities to strengthen your connection through trust and positive reinforcement.
Misbehavior | Likely Motivation | Ideal Response |
---|---|---|
Waking you early | Seeking food, attention, or play | Ignore, reinforce better schedule |
Scratching furniture | Marking, claw maintenance | Redirect to scratcher, deterrents |
Knocking objects off tables | Boredom, prey drive | Catify home, schedule playtime |
Conclusion
While the depth of feline social skills and emotions remains partially mysterious, evidence strongly suggests cats lack an inherent sense of morality and the capacity for remorse that would require an apology. Their post-misbehavior gestures instead signal a desire for renewed affection and harmony. Going forward, appreciate cats for their unique ways of communicating and conveying connection.